


Small Towns

by Baeruto



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexuality, Depression, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Murder, POV First Person, Religion, Sex Change, Slow Burn, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-04-28 07:38:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14444529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baeruto/pseuds/Baeruto
Summary: Small towns were always strange. Isolated from the rest of the world, they seem to make up their own rules and ideals. In a town called Konoha, the priest controls everything. Religion is held at a much higher standard than anything else, and scandals spread much quicker. Uchiha Fugaku, or father Uchiha, doesn't mind using his own methods to make sinners beg on their knees. With the loud mouthed Uzumaki Naruto claiming his bisexuality before the entire town, or the mysterious town murder, things aren't as simple as they seem.One thing remains a fact though, Sasuke hated small towns.





	1. Fall To Deaf Ears

**Author's Note:**

> I have no ownership over Naruto or any of his other lovely characters! QwQ but the real owner has no idea how to properly handle them...
> 
> First multi-chapter fanfiction, so please be easy on me. I talk about a bit of religion here and there, and there's a lot of homophobia in the beginning, so I suggest you hold on to something while reading this. Thank you for pressing on my little story, and I hope you can find some enjoyment while reading this. Updates every Thursday or Friday - weekly - hopefully I can keep that up!

#  **Isaiah 41:10**

_ “Fear thou not; for I  am with thee: be not dismayed; for I  am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” _

People always pray for strength. They pray for the will to move forward, and the patience to forgive others for their mistakes and sins. What people don’t understand about God, our father, is that he is like any other parent. He will not simply give us patience and strength, but he will give us the opportunity to become patient and strong. He will place us in situations that make us wonder if he even exists at all, or if he loves us at all. Despite whatever challenge or obstacle he puts us through, God is there. He does everything for a reason. As long as we remind ourselves about this fact, he won’t let us down. He is our father after all, and no matter how awful a parent can treat you, they love you. No matter what they say or yell at you - they love you. At least that’s what I believed once upon a time, but my reality is much less hopeful than any religion can convince me of. As much as I want to believe in a father in the sky, watching over me and teaching me patience and strength, I cannot. People can call me possessed or satanic, but I cannot and will not pray to a father that will not listen to my silent cries at night. I do not need more obstacles to overcome my current obstacle - my current Hell. I need help. I need someone real, anyone real, to drag me out of where I am. I’m hopeless, and the many nights I spend praying fall to deaf ears.

I was raised in a faithfully religious family. My father, Fugaku, was raised by his father to become our home town’s priest. Our town is very small, and sits right in the middle of nowhere - we have only a single church. Of course, in a small town stuck in the middle of nothingness with one church, everyone is church crazy. Everyone knows each other, and we have neighborhood gatherings to eat and trade casserole recipes with each other, meanwhile praying for each other. We feed off of being religiously righteous because what else do we have? It’s such a pathetically small town, that there’s nothing else to get excited about. No concerts, no raging teenage parties, no mass shootings or tragedies. Hell, anything would spice this place up. However, the town chooses to rely on the priest as the lowkey leader of everything. We do happen to have a mayor, but his opinion is nothing compared to the priest (aka my father). If the priest and mayor would disagree on something, the citizens would probably overthrow the mayor for being possessed and going against God’s word, or something crazy like that. We take church really seriously around here is what I’m trying to get at. If anyone misses a session on Sunday, the entire town would know and gossip about it. They would wonder why they aren’t there, and if they should plan some sort of exorcism to take the demons out. 

Imagine being the child of the priest - the center of all this crazy religious attention. Yeah that would have to be me, wouldn’t it? My name is Sasuke Uchiha, and I’m the youngest son of the priest in my small town. He makes me call him Father at home, and Father Uchiha in church. You have no idea how weird that feels. This isn’t why I cry at night. I don’t care about all of the attention - I actually wish that was my problem instead. I wish all I had to worry about was a couple of crazy stares from town folk, but my issue is deep inside myself, not outside. I have a battle inside myself. Everyday, I have to fight to survive, and god is it difficult to spend your life in a constant battlefield. I never feel myself, and each morning and evening I spend near toilets, emptying the contents of my stomach in agony. Gagging out whatever I have inside my gut because I just want to eventually throw myself up. I want to look down into the pile of clear acid, and see myself, dead. But not the real me - the fake me. I’m not in the right body, and I can taste it on my tongue everyday. The bitterness of… being inside a dead body for too long. This… male body, it isn’t mine. I don’t belong in it and I’m begging my body to let me free - the real me - but in a town like this? There are no “coming out” stories to be heard of. There is no medical insurance for hormones treatments. Father’s don’t just laugh off carefree about sexuality. That’s not my life. My life is similar to that of a slave. A slave to the word of God, and of my father. 

However, just now, right now, I’ve been proven wrong. No, there’s never been a “coming out” story. I never dreamed of such a thing happening here, in the town of Konoha. But right before me, right in front of the entire town, Naruto Uzumaki stubbornly goes against any odds. He screams to the wind his love for both genders. His heart, willing and able to love anyone willing to love him back, no matter what gender, race, or age. Here I thought it would be a regular, boring, visit to the market with my mother. How wrong I was. Now my mother, Mikoto, stares warmly up at Naruto, meanwhile the rest of the town burns to flames with anger and rioting. All because Naruto Uzumaki is very very bisexual. 

“You best burn! Burn in Hell, where you belong, and where your parents await you!” proclaimed my neighbor, Hiashi Hyuga.

“Yet another reason to despise that child, how pitiful, it’s as if the devil has his claws in him and refuses to let go. May he cleanse his soul before the day of judgement arrives.” hissed Kurenai, an admired caretaker for children.

“God, can’t he see the hole he’s digging himself in? Hopefully now they’ll finally kick him out of the town, he’s old enough to emancipate. He’s so annoying.” Ino Yamanaka growled underneath her breath. 

“Why can’t he just die already?!” Sakura roared beside me. 

“Someone call the priest over! An exorcism must be placed at once before the demons spread inside us all! The Uzumaki child is cursed!” barked the town crazy head, Tobi. 

My mother decided now was the time to intervene, so she ran to stand in front of Naruto, leaving me gaping behind in awe at her sudden burst of  confidence. She rose both her arms beside her, making a cross, and covering Naruto behind her form. The words broke out from inside her, an edge of fear creeping in, “Please, I beg of you, leave the child be. He is just as much a son of God, as we are.” She turned to smile softly at Naruto, a sad look of pity in her eyes because she knew he would suffer greatly for his proclamation. As much as Mikoto wanted to help him, she was nobody. The priest held true power, not the priest’s wife. Fugaku would surely throw a fit against the blond-haired blue-eyed boy. He had no tolerance for sexuality, or any other sin, committed by the younger generation. He believed discipline was the key to everything, and age did not matter. He would most definitely plan a punishment for the bisexual boy, especially if he refused to beg for forgiveness. 

Mikoto’s words only caused an even larger rampage from the crowd - they apparently didn’t take kindly to being compared to a “sinner” in possession of the antichrist. It was my job to protect my mother, so as people rushed forward to pummel my mother, I picked up a single stone from beside my foot, and aimed for a bright head of sunshine hair. Luckily, my aim was good, and my target was acquired. Blue eyes widened in hurt and looked into my own dark pools of gray. We stood silently, blinking at each other softly. He was confused, and I maintained my blank expression. People around us also watched silently awaiting my explanation. My mouth, numb and heavy, spoke on its own accord, “Sinner.” 

The town cheered in agreement, roars of approval were heard all around me. Sakura placed a heavy hand on my shoulder and leaned in to whisper into my ear, “Well done, that’ll teach him to keep his mouth shut. Nobody cared about him being bisexual anyway, right?” Her words shook my very core being, and I watched those same blue eyes darken a shade. My mother wouldn’t even look at me, and a deep voice stopped every cheer in the crowd at once.

“What’s the meaning of this?’ questioned my father in his usual criticizing tone of voice. Hiashi immediately stood beside my father and began explaining the situation, he held no hesitation or fear in his voice, and even I was convinced it was all Naruto’s fault. He made it seem as though he killed someone instead of came out the closet, but honestly, in this town there’s no difference. When silence fell upon us again, I could feel my heart thumping in my chest with anxiety and nerves. What would he do? He really could kick Naruto out of town. He could get these people to do anything for him. He could decide to strap Naruto to a cross and have stones thrown at him until he cried out uncle - and knowing the stubborn blond, that time would never come. He could have him “cleansed” with a freezing tub of holy water, dipping his head in and out by force, until he begged for forgiveness. There was a number of horrid things this town could do under the excuse of God. My father had no limitations when it came to “cleansing” the soul of a sinner, it was part of the reason why this town worshipped him so much. He played into their sick and twisted fantasies. 

It wasn’t until my father turned to me, with a look of mild curiosity, that I realized I still had another stone in my hand. I gripped it tightly, it was small and surprisingly smooth. There wasn’t a single crack on it. It was more of a marvel than a stone. I felt a strong urge to toss it at my father’s head with all my force, but quickly brushed the thought out of my head. That would be beyond foolish, and we didn’t need two teenagers in trouble. One was enough. I muttered a soft what, getting annoyed at all the attention shifting towards me. Those damn town monkeys looked at whatever my father looked at. It was humiliating getting caught in the middle of everything.

“What do you hold in your left hand, Sasuke?” dictated my father, a look of stone cold superiority on his boorish facial features. He shifted gaze from me to Naruto every few seconds, clearly trying to measure the situation himself. Naruto looked beyond pissed off and annoyed, and I held my monotonous expression. The situation was sticky, and I would have to carefully maneuver this in a way where neither Naruto nor myself got a beating. However, pinky pie Sakura decided to just jump in and save me herself. Wonderful.

“He was helping Ms.Uchiha, Father Uchiha. The town got upset when she protected Naruto, and Sasuke decided to take matters into his own hands, and threw Naruto a stone. The sinner had it coming. He used Ms.Uchiha’s kindness to his advantage and was going to let her suffer the consequences of his sin.” the pinkette declared. She placed a supporting hand on my shoulder and discreetly got closer. It was pathetically obvious how bias her story was, but my father seemed convinced enough, and gave me a nod of sickening approval that made my gut twist. He was satisfied with my act of violence? Some priest. Naruto was extremely outraged at this point. 

“That’s total bull! Are you kidding me? With all due respect Sir.-”

“Father Uchiha is how you will address me, and I suggest you dial it down Uzumaki, before I strike God’s punishment upon you. He does not take kindly to sinning sluts who sputter nonsense and find themselves cursed by the devil’s hand.” reprimanded my father. His eyes zeroed in on the wide-eyed blond, a strong will to punish was held in those steel colored orbs, and I shook with fear for Naruto. The blond quickly recovered from his shock, and decided he wasn’t quite as afraid as I was, because he soon did what nobody should ever do. He spoke back to my father.

“You’re joking, right? I get that you speak God’s will or whatever, but you do know that you aren’t God, right? I doubt God told you to call me a slut. The God I pray to is my father, and he respects me, despite my sins or mistakes. He forgives me, and comprehends me. If you can’t do that, then maybe you shouldn’t be the priest.” Naruto’s snapping tone made my legs quiver in awe and amazement. Was he really speaking to my father, in that tone? The sheer anxiety of the outcome kept me on edge. And Sakura’s persistent breast on my side was not helping to ease my stress on the slightest. If anything, it was only making me more anxious. They called Naruto a slut? Right. My father couldn’t be further from the truth.

The silence that ensued was deafening. I couldn’t hear a thing, and it almost made me believe I lost my hearing for the moment. Everyone stood deadly still, and Naruto looked beyond satisfied with himself. My mother was terrified, which couldn’t possibly mean anything good, since she usually had a good read on situations. As for my father, well he stood completely still, his expression hid behind a dark aura. I could practically taste the electricity in the air. The atmosphere was changing quickly, and Naruto looked utterly clueless to that fact. He was still smugly smiling at no one in particular, until his eyes clashed with mine, and he finally realized that something was dreadfully wrong. It was as if our souls were connected, and mine was desperately trying to shake Naruto out of his clueless daze. I seemed to have succeeded, because the blond shakily looked away and towards my father. His once triumphant look was now edged with worry. 

“Take him to the floor of forgiveness. He will walk a total of 10 rounds, sockless.” declared my father, a final grunt added at the end to add the resentment he was feeling for the blue-eyed teen. The crowd roared in agreement and joy, and I felt my insides clutch in pain. Naruto was clearly confused as to what the “floor of forgiveness” was, because he rarely stops by the church, or watches the punishment exhibitions my father has every now and then. The floor of forgiveness is a long pathway covered by burning hot coal. It’s a good few yards long, and it resembles a path of dead bodies. My father rarely gives that punishment to anyone because even the town folk see it as a cruel and unusual punishment, but it seems they all agree on it this time around. They’re going to force him to walk back and forth 10 rounds? That’s an oddly high number compared to the 2 or 3 times usually given to sinners. Then again, nobody’s ever confessed to bisexuality, so perhaps that is why the punishment is so high. Out of all the sexualities, my father truly despises bisexuality. He sees it as a form of impure indulgence. He believes people simply sleep around with anyone, and the thought burns his insides.

My mother timidly pulled my father aside and whispered something into his ear. It didn’t affect my father a bit, and he simply pushed aside my mother and made his way towards the floor of forgiveness. Two nuns appeared beside Naruto and began pulling his away, but the blond was having none of it. He stubbornly stood his ground, a discreet look of panic in his eyes made my heart clench. “You can’t make me go! This is crazy! Whatever punishment I have isn’t fair - I haven’t done anything!” Naruto hollered loudly. The nuns glared down at him with shame, “that’s what all sinners say, now shush, once this is over you can ask for forgiveness and all will be well.” 

Reluctantly, Naruto was escorted towards the grounds of forgiveness, where he would soon find out exactly what those grounds were made up of. I felt a bitter emptiness in my gut again. I needed to throw up. I have to throw up right now. Sakura kept her strong grip around my lanky arm, and her insistent and desperate breast still pushed on me. I felt bile built up in my throat. My head was pounding persistently, and sweat was collecting onto my forehead. What was this feeling? It was worst than my usual panic attacks, or nauseous fits. I pulled myself away from a very disappointed looking Sakura, and headed towards the grounds of forgiveness. I didn’t want to see the look of pain on Naruto, but I had to witness it. Leaving him alone was even more cowardly. We weren’t the closest of friends, but he was different from the rest of these crazy town folk. He was refreshing to be around, and I won’t let them break him down without a fight. As my footsteps became heavier, I felt like I was walking underwater. Like with every step I took, I had to push myself forward and keep my breath held. For a split second, I prayed for strength. I closed my eyes and prayed to my second father in the sky. Hopefully this one wasn’t as shitty as my current one.

_ Falling for him is like falling from grace.  _


	2. Crying Princesses and Promising Ninjas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young eight-year-old Sasuke finally meets his prince charming. Or is it his ninja charming?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I updating this early? Because I'm gonna be busy later this week, and I was also really excited to upload this next chapter. It's a flashback chapter btw, so sorry if that's not what you were expecting. I love writing in a younger perspective, it shakes things up a bit, and helps me practice perspective and variety. Here we have my baby boy Sasuke's perspective. He's about eight in this chapter. He's also already showing signs of wanting to be a little girl, but it's pretty complicated with his father being... awful.
> 
> Also - please comment! I love comments and feedback. It brings smiles to my face, and butterflies to my tummy. Feedback is one of the best things as a creative writer, we love that stuff! Even if you comment about what you thing is gonna happen, or your thoughts on the story so far, I'll love it. I don't wanna beg for comments... but I would appreciate it greatly. 
> 
> **Flashback chapter**
> 
> WARNING - DOMESTIC ABUSE and VERY SAD BABY BOYS

**Proverbs 18:24**

_“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”_

 

I could hear the slap from across the room.

 

“Never… never do this again, Mikoto.” my father muttered in a hushed tone, as if if he spoke too loud, the entire town would hear. As if the slap he just gave didn’t resonate from miles away. As if the sound of his stabbing betrayal wasn’t already deafening loud enough. I clenched my small sticky hands, the mascara on my eyes dripped down my eyes, giving me a haunted look. I was only eight. I wanted to dress up like a princess because Sakura could, and it wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair. I knew I could be a prettier princess than her, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind, but for some reason… father didn’t like the idea very much. Actually, he hated it. Mother told me she would do it anyways, as long as I stayed inside the house and didn’t go outside to show it off to anyone. I kept my promised. I followed the rules. But father still caught me in my room, admiring my mother’s work in the mirror - because I really did look much better than Sakura. I never saw him angrier than he is now. And to have hit mama? What could I do? Itachi wasn’t home. I was alone with them. Mama hasn’t said a word. She hasn’t even looked at father. Her eyes held mine strongly, and not a single tear came from her, not even with that nasty red mark across her face.

 

“Look at me, Mikoto! I can’t believe you went against my will, look what you’ve done. You’re confusing the poor boy!” my father roared in outrage. He gripped me from my shoulder, pulling me closer to them. A look of pure disgust and disappointment flashed across his face, before returning to his usual stone glare. I could feel my lips quiver, and my eyes water. I didn’t want to cry. Mama wasn’t crying, so neither would I, he hasn’t even hit me. I had no reason to cry. I just didn’t understand why he was so angry - he was the only one confusing me - not mama. I heard mama mutter something, but didn’t quite hear it, and neither did father, so he spat out an angry what.

 

“I said, he likes it when I dress him up like this, and he looks very pretty.” a hint of smile was in her voice when she spoke, and I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. My mama said I looked pretty, and that’s all that matters, because she’s the most pretty girl in the world. Before I could say thank you, I heard an angry growl from my father. He was not happy with that response at all. I felt a strong pull from my hair, and my head was pounding with pain, I yelped as tears finally came pouring down my face, and hot shame consumed me. I was being humiliated by my own father. He pulled at my hair tighter, and I felt like my head was going to burst. Mama rushed forward and tried pulling me away from my father’s unrelenting grip. She couldn’t pull me away, and aimed an angry glare at my father, “let him go, what’s wrong with you? This is between us.”

 

With a final huff of aggravation, I was freed. My head finally stopped pounding, and I whimpered as I tripped and fell to my knees, my dark blue dress sprawled around me, and I felt ashamed. I could tell that my face probably looked scary, and my pulsing headache wouldn’t stop. What was I wearing? Why was I dressed in this dress, and painted with this makeup? My father clearly hated it, and if he hated it, then it must be wrong. He was the church priest after all, he spoke only the word of God. Why else would he do such mean and nasty things to me and mama? We must have sinned. A loud sob escaped my lips, and before I knew it, I was bawling. Sadness and confusion built up inside me finally broke out, and I was… empty. I could feel mama come beside me and hug me reassuringly. Her warmth engulfed me, and I cuddled closer to her, hugging her tightly with every sob. Why did mama get slapped? Is what she did so bad? Maybe it was. Whatever made father so mad had to stop, because mama should not have to suffer. She’s too kind. Much too kind.

 

Mama mumbled softly into my ear, “go ahead and play outside for a while, Sasuke. Your father and I need to speak privately.” Her voice was sweet like honey. I almost wanted to protest and stay beside her, but the look in her eyes was stern and serious, so I simply nodded. The it hit me, what about the kids and neighbors?

 

“Prayers have begun, everyone should be inside having dinner and praying, don’t worry about anyone seeing you. You’re safe, honey.” she reassured me before I could ask, and I mutely nodded again. What else could I do? I can’t speak after what happened, and I can’t even dream about disobeying them. I would have to keep it to myself for now, at least until everything cooled down and they discussed it themselves, like adults. That’s what should’ve happened from the beginning - not slapping and hair yanking, like my father had done. It almost sounded childish when I thought about it, but it was quite terrifying when it happened. Fathers don’t usually go around yanking their child’s hair and shaming them. It was… wrong. Especially for a priest father.

 

I rushed out the bedroom door, never looking back. I didn’t want to see their looks of pity or hate, it was too painful. I wish Itachi was here, but he’s never here when I need him by my side. He had to go on some retreat out in the city for aspiring religious college students. He’s still in highschool, but father made him apply for a university program that gave him his degree, and trained him to become a priest. After highschool he would leave for 5 years and come back a certified priest or something like that. Great, someone else to call father Uchiha. It was a never ending nightmare. I was also going to be without Itachi for 5 entire years - which isn’t going to be easy at all. Itachi always made me feel happy when bad stuff happened, like now. Except now Itachi was gone, and soon he’d be gone for even longer. That thought made my stomach churn.

 

I stood outside my house, in the backyard. It was big, with lots of trees and plants everywhere. Right beside the door was a line of different colored gnomes, each one a different size too. Mama enjoyed collecting them in different garage sales, or whenever we visited the city. They sort of creeped me out before, but now they’re kind of comforting to see. I marched up to our huge oak tree and saw the wooden swing seat blowing lightly in the wind. I built it with Itachi when I was five and we were bored of playing tag. There were many memories with the swing. Memories of me and Itachi battling to see who could jump off the highest - or when we were both trying to push each other off the seat because it was funny to watch the other fall off on his butt. Now that Itachi was gone… it felt… sort of pointless. I still enjoyed the memories, but now they feel so far away, like they never happened. Like they were a dream and not a memory at all. It was sad. Especially since I was dressed in a princess dress and had make up dripping down my face. I bet I look scary to anyone else.

 

Suddenly I heard a strong snoring sound come from above me and I look up to see what it is. My eyes widen comically when I see a little blond haired boy sleeping on top of the tree branches. He seems so… peaceful. His eyes are gently shut and his breathing is even and soft. I would’ve never noticed him if it weren’t for that snore he gave. I decided to kick him out of our backyard, so I picked up a stone from the ground, and threw it effortlessly at him. I’m really good at aiming, so the stone hit him right on that annoyingly bright blond head of hair he has. Slowly, his blue eyes pierced open, and revealed the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. They were full of shock and confusion, then anger, and finally fear. Before I could move out of the way, a pile of retard was on top of me, knocking me off my feet and to the dirty ground. We groaned in unison, a mess of limbs on the ground shoving at each other to move away and get comfortable. I heard a soft gasp escape the boy on top me, so I peeked my eyes open in curiosity. He stared back at me with wide eyes. Then it finally hit me, the reason why I was sent outside in the first place. I was still dressed up like a princess, with makeup and everything. And now this boy saw me. I quickly shoved him off my lap and covered my face in burning shame.

 

“A princess!” hollered the blue-eyed boy in complete awe, he pointed a small tanned finger my way, and had his mouth formed as a wide ‘o’. I slowly removed my hands from my face and rose a single eyebrow in confusion. Wasn’t he terrified? The makeup was all over my face, and my dress was covered in dirt and mud from the fall. I should… logically look like a monster or witch. The boy didn’t seem scared at all though. If anything, he appeared amazed. Maybe even impressed. I felt a rushing blush on my cheeks. This boy was weird.

 

“I’m not a princess, dobe, I’m a boy.” my reply was a soft mumble, I looked off to the side, embarrassed with the entire situation.

 

“So? Boys can be princesses too, I guess. I mean, look at you!” the blue-eyed weirdo crawled closer to me and had his face right in front of mine, looking at me with a strange look of admiration. I pushed him aside and stood up stubbornly. This was bad. Mama didn’t want anyone seeing him this way, and father would certainly throw another scary fit, maybe even hurt mama again. I couldn’t let that happen. I have to convince this dumb boy to keep this a secret from all the other noisy kids in the neighborhood. I looked at the blue-eyed boy and quirked an eyebrow, I had no idea who he was. I’ve never seen him at the church for the prayers, or at the neighborhood meetings. Not even at school. Who was he? Father made sure I knew the name of every kid because it was my responsibility as his son. He said it was my duty to remember everyone’s name and face. Maybe his family just recently moved in?

 

“Hey, what’s your name?” questioned the strange boy with a splitting smile on his whiskered face. He had whiskers drawn onto his cheeks, like a cat. That was certainly weird. Intoxicating our skin with ink was a sin, and frowned upon in the town, so surely his parent’s would’ve punished him by now. I decided to be civil and answer the simple question, he had to know every kid in town so it was only fair to introduce himself too, “Sasuke Uchiha.”

 

“Hey, Saskay! My name’s Naruto Uzumaki!” Naruto gave me a warming smile as he sat on the muddy ground. It looked odd. Someone so obviously bright and positive, looking so dirty and small. It was like an oxymoron, or just a moron in the blond’s case. I gave him a small grimace, then looked away. I wasn’t used to kids like him. Usually everyone acts very neat and proper - as God says they should act. As my father tells us to act. It was just the way of acting around here, nobody questioned it or went against it. However, here sat the exception. The exception to...well, everyone. He obviously didn’t care how dirty or improper he looked, or that my name is pronounced ‘Sasuke’ and not ‘Saskay’. He didn’t care at all, and it made me angry and mesmerized. How lucky it must be for him to have parents that aren’t as demanding and expectant as my father is. I was jealous. But that wasn’t important right now, right now I have to keep his mouth shut.

 

“Hey, Naruto, can you keep a secret?” I awkwardly took out my hand for him to reach, and he eagerly took it and pulled himself off the ground. I watched as he carelessly brushed off any dirt on his clothes and met my own eyes with his crystalline ones. A look of determination and promise was in his eyes, and he chuckled kindly before responding in an offended tone, “Well I’m no tattle-tale, if that’s what you’re asking me. I keep pride in my promises made, that’s my ninja way!”

 

Ninjas...way? What was this kid talking about? As if he could ever be a ninja with that snore he has. It could alert an entire village of people of his presence. I’d make a much sneakier and better ninja. This wasn’t important right now! Naruto was definitely good at distracting people. I crossed my pale arms and stuck my nose out arrogantly, “Don’t change the subject! You’re not a ninja, and I’m trying to have a serious talk with you, are you too dense to get that?” I watched as his kind eyes became wide with anger and awe at my rudeness. I didn’t mean to be mean, but this kid was frustrating! Some people don’t understand things unless you’re harsh. Naruto was one of those people.

 

“Wha- you hard drippy turd! I’m not d-dense… or whatever you said!” Naruto’s eyes flared with rage and confusion as he barked back his response, a soft pink tint dusted over his cheeks at the embarrassment of not understanding what he was exactly being called. I quirked a brow in amusement of his outburst. This boy was definitely entertaining. No, Naruto was definitely entertaining. Despite my previous dislike towards him (mainly because he called me a princess) I suddenly found myself attached to the blue-eyed boy. Now that I really saw him, standing upright and not completely covered in dirt, he was quite pleasant looking. His blond hair was shaggy and unkempt, sprawling around his head carelessly and randomly. His cheeks were chubby, and the strange whiskers only added to his wild appearance. His eyelashes were a golden color, making him seem almost mystical, and the eyes were his best feature by far. They popped out and caught anyone’s attention. His form was a bit smaller than my own, and he seemed a bit malnourished with how thin he was, but besides that he was average at best. I focused back onto his eyes, and caught him blushing madly, he look embarrassed. “What?”

 

“I asked why you were looking at me all quiet and stuff…” mumbled the small boy. His cheeks remained pink, and the soft color eventually spread to his ears too. I felt suddenly very embarrassed.

 

“L-Look, just promise you won’t tell anyone about...this,” I paused and gestured towards my dress and face, “please.” I sounded so weak and pathetic. Almost like I was begging, which maybe I was.

 

“You don’t want anyone to know you’re a princess?” questioned Naruto with a slight head tilt, confusion shone in his dense eyes. I blushed madly before pushing him down onto the ground again, steam practically blowing out my ears, “No! I don’t want anyone to know I dress up like a girl, because I’m a boy, remember?!” I scolded the blond angrily before crossing my arms again. I probably sound like a little girl, but I don’t really care right now. Naruto was being infuriating. Why did he keep calling me a princess? I hate how it made butterflies freak out in my tummy. I hate how right it sounded. Father would be very disappointed in me. As always.

 

Naruto yelped as he fell on the muddy ground again, his bum hurt a lot from all the falls he was taking today. His eyes brimmed with threatening tears, and he gazed up at the royally angry brunette standing before him. He didn’t understand why he was so upset. All he did was call him a princess! Naruto was pretty sure princesses were pretty and admired by everyone, so it was a compliment, not an insult. Maybe boys weren’t supposed to be called princesses? Well it wasn’t his fault Sasuke made a pretty princess! What was he expecting while wearing a dress? Honestly, kids were so mean to him for no reason. “W-Why does that matter? You look really nice in girl clothes… and if that’s what you wanna wear, then wear it, right?” his voice quivered in fear at how Sasuke would react, but no reaction ever came. He just stood silently, staring at the ground underneath his heeled feet. It made Naruto even more nervous.

 

I watched the ground beneath my feet. Why couldn’t I wear a dress? Why was makeup such a bad thing? My father made it seem… incredibly wrong. Did the bible prohibit it? I wasn’t sure, but it made sense if it did. Boys weren’t supposed to want to wear these kinds of things. They were supposed to wear shorts and t-shirts. Their faces were supposed to be covered in dirt from playing outside, not makeup. I just didn’t want to wear any of that. I hate shorts, and makeup is pretty. I hate dirt, and dresses are cute. I… want to be a girl. Because I hate being a boy. I don’t hate boys, I just hate being one. I wish everything I did wasn’t wrong, and it wouldn’t be wrong if I was a girl. Girls were so lucky. I eyed Naruto sadly before mumbling a soft response, “because it’s not that easy, you dummy…”

 

“If you really wanna keep it a secret, I won’t make you sad by talking about it to anyone, I promise, but I’m pretty sure if the girls saw how cute you looked, they would be really jealous of you!” Naruto threw himself onto me, knocking me off my feet and onto the ground...again. He clung onto be greedily and nuzzled his face into my neck childishly. I bit my bottom lip nervously at the feeling of those butterflies in my belly going wild again. Why did I feel so… fuzzy? This was the most humiliating thing ever, and I didn’t feel like beating Naruto up until he cried uncle. I let the boy nuzzle himself closer, feeling immensely comfortable and giddy. I never felt this special before. Having so much attention and admiration given to me felt amazing, and it sadly reminded me of how much I craved the acceptance and attention of my father. He would never hug me like this. Never in a million years. It was a sad but true thought. Eventually Naruto must’ve realized how awkward and weird that was, because he cleared his throat and moved his head off my shoulder. His eyes were gleaming with warmth and kindness. My tummy made a flip. I innocently gazed back into his eyes, and we comfortably stared at each other for a minute or two. Then it hit me.

 

“Hey, aren’t your parents worried about you?” I curiously whispered, like I was trying to keep a secret, or trying to keep the gentle atmosphere we built around only ourselves. His eyes flashed with a burst of hurt and jealousy for a split second, and then it was gone, replaced with a faux smile. The atmosphere was immediately broken apart by me, and I wasn’t quite sure what I did wrong. Did I say something hurtful? I certainly didn’t mean to. Either way, the blond’s attitude changed drastically, and he soon pushed himself off me, like his skin was burning with the simple skin contact. A frown adorned my face, and I glared up at him with confusion. I didn’t want to admit that the embrace was comforting, so I simply glared up at him.

 

“Uh.. sorry, ha.” Naruto looked off towards my house, and I soon turned my head to look too. I saw my mama standing at the door frame, a kind smile on her face as she gently rose her hand to call me inside. I stood up awkwardly, praying she hadn’t been standing there the entire time, and turned to face Naruto one last time.I wanted to say something. Tell him to come inside and get washed up. I wanted to smile at him and tell him I was sorry for whatever I did to upset him before. But, I didn’t. Instead I just awkwardly grimaced at him, then turned to walk inside my house. I silently clenched my fists in anger. I was mad at myself for cutting things off like that. It was mean, and wrong. It just felt so wrong, but I still did it. And why? Because I was embarrassed. That was why. Such a dumb reason to do that, but I still couldn’t find the strength to turn around and at least wave goodbye. I just kept walking silently forward, staring down at my feet, then looking up at my mother. She was still looking behind me, probably at Naruto. I stepped inside the house and heard the door gently close after my mother said goodbye. Even she said bye to him, and I couldn’t even give him a smile. To be fair, I never smile. At least not at strangers, and that’s what he was, a stranger. It felt wrong calling him one, but I really don’t know him at all.

 

It wasn’t until days later that I found out who he was. Naruto was the son of the late Uzumaki couple, Minato and Kushina, who were rumored to have been dealing with witchcraft and satanic rituals. Not too long ago they passed away in a fire that burned down the entire house. When the fire was finally put out by the local fire fighters, the only thing left was Naruto. He was covered in ash and surrounded by satanic books and blood. The entire town was raging about it, but I never seemed to pay it any attention. I was very young after all. I thought it was all rubbish rumoring. He was brought in by an old man named JIraiya, who constantly went out of town for ‘business’ matters and left Naruto alone. He had homeschooling done by a private tutor, lady Hinata, so that explained why I never met him at school. The old man’s house was miles away from the rest of the neighborhood, leaving Naruto in complete isolation from the town that detested him. All this information was overwhelming to say the least, but… it put me at ease. I wasn’t alone anymore. Now I just need a way to see him again.

 

_I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts? I sort of enjoyed making Sasuke a little crying princess, but it also made me really sad. People struggle with this very real problem everyday, and writing about a child experiencing it was very surreal. I believe it's perfectly fine to allow children to wear whatever they want to wear - it isn't going to hurt anyone. Teaching them about silly things like "gender roles" and "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" is overrated. I wouldn't want my child to believe in those things at all. If Sasuke wants to wear a dress and some bomb-tastic mascara, let him! He probably rocks it. I wouldn't want my child to feel limited to a certain style or life, I want them to be free.
> 
> Of course, not teaching them these things can risk others bullying them or mocking them for it, so it's all about perspective really. What do you think?
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter, I truly appreciate it! Hopefully I'll have a few of my one-shots up for you guys by later today, I haven't decided if I have time yet, but probably. Maybe... huehue~


	3. Pathway to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally see some Naru pov, so enjoy his potty mouth - also, watch your feet, the floor is lava...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautiful reader! If you're a returning reader, I am well aware of who you are, and thank you for coming back for more of my story. I really appreciate it, it means a bunch to a silly loner like myself. Leave me a comment because I'm very lonely, and hearing your thoughts, predictions, opinions, and advice really interests me! Also...maybe a kudo would be nice - if you enjoyed the story.
> 
> Here in this chapter I decided to give you guys a little of Naruto's point of view for once. I've decided to sort of switch in between character pov's because it makes things different and dare I say... spicy. I love my spice (seriously though, I love spicy foods). Now if you enjoy Sasuke's pov, it'll be back shortly, there are just some things only Naruto can explain and express - especially in this chapter. I really want you guys to focus on his personal opinions so you can remember what his personality is like for chapters when I'm writing in a different perspective. I like giving my reader a hint at how the minds of my characters work, just so they can kind of have a prediction as to how they might react to things. I might have a Fugaku pov chapter in here somewhere... I haven't decided. Remember how I'm still writing the story? 
> 
> Please enjoy the chapter, and I have another note at the bottom to address some questions and comments made in my previous chapters!

**Psalm 37:23-24 (NIV)**

_“The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.”_

I could feel the heat radiating off the ash colored ground. It was quite literally, the pathway to Hell. I could feel my throat suddenly clog up with nerves, and sweat rushed down my tanned face. I was terrified. Despite never showing any fear or hesitation around these crazy town loons, I was utterly horrified by the task before me. Were they actually expecting me to walk across this thing? It was longer than the stone pathway in front of my house! This isn’t very fair, considering I haven’t hurt anyone in any way. At least not physically. If these lunatics were emotionally or mentally hurt by my confession, then that’s on them. I never intentionally hurt anyone. My sexuality was my problem, the only reason I declared it to the entire town is because I sort of wanted to show off. It sounds kind of ludicrous now that I say it now, but I wanted to be the first to come out in this lunatic town of weirdos. I guess I accomplished my goal, but everything comes with a price, and mine just happens to be made up of burning hot coals lined up in the shape of Hell. Hurray for me, huh?

As much as I was joking around, I could feel the heated glares directed my way, and the show must go on, right? These people wanted to see my suffering, and they wanted to see it now. What a bunch of sadists! How about they take their creepy kinks to the bedroom - including the damn priest! Father Uchiha is the kinkiest out of all these freaks, isn’t he? I could taste his anticipation from where I stood, which is a good few yards away from his weird ass. He was practically kneeling over to see me cry out in agony - and that sentence sounded lewd for a reason! What kind of sick fucker thinks of these punishments? What, did they have some yearly religious meeting and make a list of new cruel punishments they’d like to see to fulfill their kinky needs? I can actually see that happening in a town like Konoha. We are a bunch of weird lunatics. I mean - I’m not - but pretty much everyone else here definitely is.

I eyed my left side a bit and caught a pair of coal colored eyes watching me intently. Sasuke. He was here to watch as well. I doubt it’s for the same reason as the rest of these sick freaks, he was different for sure. Maybe not in a good way, but at least he wasn’t getting off at my suffering. Sasuke is very… timid. At least from what I’ve seen of him, which isn’t much. He’s good at keeping himself hidden in the shadows, and seems to hate attention, so being the priest’s son probably wasn’t very pleasant for him. People just liked him. I couldn’t understand why. Maybe it was because he was so silent and obedient like the rest of them, yet in his silence he was still similar to a raging flame. His rebellious nature was very lowkey, unlike my own. I enjoyed confrontation and arguments - if they went my way. They usually didn’t, and I always ended up suffering the rather harsh consequences of my loud and eager mouth. It’s just who I am, so fuck whoever tries to shut me up. I was born with a mouth for a reason, and to me, that’s to speak my mind - and maybe also kissing, because why not.

I felt a harsh shove behind me, suddenly making me lose my balance. I almost fell face first into the sizzling coal road but caught myself in a rush, a loud yelp escaped me. What the hell is wrong with these people? I could’ve grilled my damn nuts! Jesus, if I’m walking on a path of coal, I’m doing it my way! When and if I feel like it. I have at least that freedom, so there’s no way I’m letting some loon push me into doing it before I feel comfortable doing it. I’d like to see them try and step on this voluntarily - not as easy as it looks - and it looks pretty difficult already.

“We don’t have all your life, Uzumaki.” I heard the prick say behind me, also known as the priest, or “Father Uchiha”. That guy had too many misleading names! Anyone sane would’ve expected the guy to be all smiles and forgiveness, but I’ve never met such an unforgiving and cold human. I bit my bottom lip to hold back my cocky response, and with much regret, placed my naked right foot onto the heated coal.

What a mistake that was. Immediately, the sole of my right foot scorched in pain and agony, but as much as I wanted to cry out in complete hopelessness, I harshly bit my cheek. I would not give them the satisfaction. They wouldn’t hear a single sound leave my mouth. My eyes saw the long road ahead of me, and prepared itself for the challenge. I had ten rounds on this thing, and I wasn’t even fully on it yet, my left foot was still perfectly placed on green grass. I reluctantly placed my left foot onto the platform from Hell and felt tears start to build up in the corners of my eyes. What. The. Fuck. I had to be fast, like ripping off a bandage. That was the only way I’d survive this without passing out from a panic attack. I could not have a panic attack here. I had to remind myself not to have a damn panic attack.

I began my journey. Like the speed of lightning, I ran over the heated coals. Each step burned into my heel, and I held my breath across the entire path. I almost tripped, but slowed down a bit, and quickly stopped myself from plummeting ass-first onto the human stove. My ninth round in I felt my chest swell up in a panic. Suddenly I was surrounded by smoke. My eyes stung, and my mouth ran dry as a desert. I could taste the ash in my mouth, and hear my mother’s cries of agony. What was happening? A moment ago I was outside, being spectated by a circle of town lunatics, and now I’m back inside my childhood house, hearing those same yells of suffering leaving my parents. The house was burning, and my skin was falling off. It was peeling off like a glove, or snake skin. No, this can’t be real, I could still feel the coal on my feet. It was keeping me sane. This was an illusion - a panic attack was coming on, and I had to breath or else I’d suffocate in the illusion.

It wasn’t working. I could still hear my mom crying out for help, and my dad was yelling my name out. What could I do? I was only a child. I couldn’t move. All I did was cry. I didn’t do a damn thing to save my parents, the only people who loved me. They were my only family, and I couldn’t even help them, or at the very least try to help them. Or move. Do anything useful. Anything at all. Just do something! God, I was so useless. Why won’t I move? Couldn’t I hear them crying? But… what was that other sound? A lullaby perhaps. That always calmed me down. Who would be playing a lullaby…

“Naruto, wake up!” I felt ice chilled water splash onto my face, making me choke out in pain. I couldn’t breath! Who the hell wakes a person up like that? I peeked my eyes open and saw a large group of people circled around me, and Sasuke only inches away from me. His face was tinted red from fear and anxiety, and sweat was covering his entire forehead, making small strands of hair stick onto his face awkwardly. He looked exhausted, almost like he ran a marathon. What was going on? I couldn’t quite understand what was happening, so I moved up to look around a bit, but felt a rush of pain overcome me. I cried out and felt an angry hand push me back onto the lap my head was resting on when I first woke up. This sucked. Did I finish my ten laps at least? I hope these freaks don’t make me start over. I would rather circulate town with a cross on my back and a thorn crown than go through this shit again. At least that wouldn’t trigger horrifying panic attacks mixed with nightmare inducing flashbacks from my tragic past. Although really I don’t want another punishment at all. I peeked up at Sasuke again and saw him looking down directly at me with a concerned expression that made me uncomfortable. Why did he care so much? He threw a damn stone at me.

“Do you feel alright?” muttered the young Uchiha. He held my body gently as he placed a warm towel on my forehead to dry up all the sweat. I blinked dumbly at his pathetic question. Was he serious? I’m assuming he means ‘panic attack’ wise, because my feet were numb, and my throat was thick and dry. I felt like death itself, but I simply nodded softly in response. At least he cares.

The surrounding people muttered amongst themselves. I could feel them judging me and spreading a bunch of ridiculous rumors regarding why the hell I had a panic attack, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. I felt… exhausted. God, I was exhausted. And being here, near Sasuke, it just bought a bit of peace to my mind. He wasn’t a crazy loon like the rest of these people. He doesn’t care about what they say. That was a tremendous relief to have. There were few people I could trust in this town, and out of those few, Sasuke was one. He didn’t give a fuck what these town folk said about my past, or about anything really. They aren’t a reliable source for anything besides gossip. I sighed softly and shut my eyes again. I needed some rest. Coming out of the closet was exhausting enough, but they had me running of coal and shit, so I was drop-dead exhausted at this point. They probably haven’t even forgiven me yet, this whole thing was just for them to enjoy. Bunch of sickos.

“Hey, let me walk you home,” Sasuke’s silk voice offered kindly, and before I could even respond, he added, “and I’m not really offering, I’m letting you know that’s what I’m doing.” I chuckled in response to his demanding tone, and carefully sat up. I couldn’t even feel my feet. They were dead. I eyed them with a grumpy pout and saw the swollen red skin surrounding the outer edges. I looked dumb, didn’t I? I was too afraid to even touch them, they looked so irritated and delicate. Sasuke stood beside me, and I looked up at him with the same grumpy pout, wordlessly asking, what now?

The raven rolled his eyes and crouched down, presenting his back to me in all its glory. What did he want me to do - get on? That was weird. And in front of all these people. Just another show for them to gossip about. I don’t mind the gossip, but I’m sure Sasuke would. His father is the priest after all, so he’d probably get in trouble if any nasty rumors spread about him carrying the bisexual sinner back home. It wouldn’t really be a rumor either, considering the raven haired boy was actually offering him a ride back home. On his back. I really didn’t have much of a choice though. How else would I get home? I was stubborn, but crawling all the way back home wasn’t the most ideal circumstance. I also lived pretty far from the central town, which is where all this shit happened. I guess beggars can’t the choosers. I pushed aside my pride, and with a bit of difficulty from my swollen red feet, hopped onto Sasuke’s back. The raven grunted softly at my weight, but easily lifted me off the ground. Freaking bastard, calling me fat. I was a perfect being! Not an ounce of fat on me!

Eyes burned on us as we made our way out of town. Everyone whispered and mumbled into ears, a few giggles were even heard. I saw Sakura, the prettiest girl in town, give me the dirtiest look ever created as I clung onto Sasuke for support. She was a lot scarier than what she lead on! The girl was a beast underneath all that makeup and soft pink clothing. Everyone was so misleading in this town, what the heck!

I brought my attention back to Sasuke. His neck was so soft and pale, similar to silk. His dark hair contradicted strongly with his skin, like ink on a sheet. I experimentally licked his neck and heard a strangled grunt escape the raven. His head awkwardly turned to face me, and he eyed me strangely, as though he was trying to puzzle me together. It annoyed the hell outta me, so I stuck my tongue out at him mockingly.

“Why did you lick me?” was his simple question. The tone was robotic, and I rolled my eyes annoyingly at how emotionless the bastard was acting.

“Because you taste good.” was my simple reply. I clung onto his neck tighter, a soft gasp escaping his thin lips. I smirked triumphantly. He has to carry me all the way home! What a sucker. He should’ve known what he was getting himself into the moment he offered to take me home. I was a real pain in the ass, usually. Hinata said I was an angel, but I’m actually a devil in disguise. I love making people annoyed! Especially the young Uchiha. He was the funniest to poke at. Making that stone look leave his face for even a second was satisfying.

“Are you really bisexual?” asked the raven. He seemed hesitant to ask at all, but went with it anyways. I almost hit him for believing I would ever lie about being bisexual, but felt it was more of an assurance than confirmation for him. I couldn’t understand why everyone was so amazed, or horrified, by the fact that someone might like both genders. Is it that difficult to understand? Maybe it isn’t a problem of understanding, but instead a simple fear of the unknown. Did they think I would go around fucking everyone? That was sort of hilarious to think about. They can’t actually believe I’m some crazy lunatic that can’t keep my hands to myself. Like come on, my standards weren’t that low. Most of these freaks didn’t attract me at all. It’s not like straight people went around fucking everyone of the opposite sex, right? Same thing applies to bisexuals and homosexuals. It probably just has something to do with the fact that everyone here is a church loon that listens to whatever the priest says. They act like that prick is God himself.

“I’m pretty sure that if I were joking I would’ve told them before I ran on burning coal, don’t you think, bastard?” my reply was snappy, and I heard the Uchiha scoff in return. He was clearly unamused by my response, but I could care less at this point. I was lucky to live so far away from this town. I used to mope about it all day to my caretaker, Jiraiya, but ever since he passed away, I’ve been sort of relieved to live so far away. I didn’t want to hear the yelling accusations of ‘demon!’ or ‘witchcraft!’ thrown at me, it was hard enough losing the old pervert. Being accused of murdering him would definitely push me over the edge, then I’d end up doing something I’d really regret. I would probably become a true demon, just to show them what it looks like.

Now that I thought about it, while on Sasuke’s surprisingly comfortable back, Jiraiya never met Sasuke. It was a sort of sad thought. The old man was one of the most important people in my life, and the fact that he never even saw Sasuke, was depressing. It makes me wonder what he would’ve thought about him. He never liked stuck up kids, and that’s precisely what I would call kid Sasuke. Younger Sasuke wasn’t very loud or openly rude, but he had a silent judging look in his eyes all the time. You could just tell he was disgusted by you simply by looking at his eyes. I remember how it annoyed the hell out of me when I was younger, it was the reason why we always fought each other too. He would just make me snap, because although all these town freaks are rude to me, they’re at least upfront about it. Sasuke didn’t even think I was worth his time, and that, that really grinds my nerves. What a prick.

When we fight, I feel normal. I can feel his fist meet my chin, and send blood squirting out my mouth painfully. My knee meets his gut, and he grunts spitefully at me, quickly getting past my guard and sending an equally powerful kick to my cheek. He really enjoys demolishing my perfect face. I would chuckle at his smirk moves, then use my own resourceful strength to pin his leg down, successfully smacking him onto his back, a loud groan escaping him. He would spit in my eye, like the bastard he is, making me lose hold of his leg and free him. Our bodies move relentlessly, his with more grace and speed, mine with power and energy, each our own advantage. My blood would pulse loudly in my ears, and I can’t help but laugh happily. Sasuke isn’t afraid of me. He never backs down, and doesn’t care about my creepy and suspicious past. It’s such an amazing feeling, I can’t help but feel my chest swell up in joy.

I discreetly hold on tighter to the Uchiha, sighing in relief and exhaustion. I was so sleepy and tired, I can’t even think anymore. I should probably talk about what just happened, but I don’t really want to. What happened, happened. I was punished, and now it’s over, at least for the moment. I probably had a few other punishments up ahead of me, but for just this moment, I was at peace. I could hear Sasuke mutter something, but didn’t quite catch it, and I closed my eyes comfortably letting darkness overcome me. I need some damn rest.

_Walk through the fire with you, cause I know how it can hurt._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter was shorter than the previous one, but I'm not completely sure. It was more of a transition chapter, so sorry about that. It was important to write though because it addresses some of Naruto's personal issues. There are dark feelings he hasn't dealt with, and maybe it's a lot deeper than it seems, but you won't know for sure unless you keep reading till the end. All I can say is that Naruto isn't everything he seems to be, and with his kind of tragic history, dark emotions can start to suffocate a person until you aren't sure who they are anymore.
> 
> ANYWAY, I also would like to address the "major character death" tag I have on the story. No, Jiraiya is not the major death. He was important, but we don't see too much of him, rip. Minato and Kushina don't count either. When I say major death, I mean MAJOR death. I hope you don't get too attached to any characters because I'm not giving you any warnings on who gets cut loose. Is it Naruto? Mikoto? Who knows...
> 
> I was reading a few of the previous comments made and I have a couple of replies for you, thank you for commenting~
> 
> 1) Yes, the "child" perspective is a bit risqué, especially since I'm not an expert writer at all, but I'm afraid it will be coming back frequently. I like working on it, and this is the perfect story to practice it, we have many flashbacks to work on. I will definitely work on the vocabulary I use for the child's perspective since I easily forget that a child has a limited vocabulary - but please remember that I was talking about Sasuke - and he is a very bright and intelligent kid. I will try to dumb him down a bit, but we won't see many more eight-year-old flashbacks anymore.
> 
> 2) I'm very glad you guys love trans Sasuke! I love her too, and I hope we can all understand that the transition will take time, lots of time! His family isn't very supportive (especially Fugaku), and neither is his town, so it won't be easy. Once we do get to the point where she's accepted, I will definitely give you chapters after his transition.
> 
> Please comment! I love feedback and opinions, they feed my soul!


	4. You Can Breathe Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more Naru sadness and the death of a loved one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't express how sorry I am! I uploaded this chapter a week or so later than usual because of the very busy school schedule I've been having. I have final exams coming up, and a few projects and late assignments I'm still currently working on now. This will hopefully be my last late chapter - after next week, posting should go smoothly. Thanks to everyone who still reads and enjoys each chapter I upload, this chapter should be better at "flashback" mode than the previous one. They're a bit older in this one - so make sure to read in detail, because this is important to Naruto's mental health and overall feelings. Enjoy!

**Romans 5:8**

_But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us._

Rain was such a bad cliche. I could feel the droplets fall onto my hair and face, soaking me in all its bitter cold sensation. Why did it always rain on these sort of days? The saddest and most devastating days. People say it’s because the heaven is crying, but I doubt that very much. It’s all probably just coincidence, or karma, but nobody else is crying at this funeral, only me. I’m the only one here to care about his death. He was the best person to ever exist in my life, and now I’ll never see him again. Tomorrow really isn’t promised, and I guess he had to be taken away early. He wasn’t that old, despite popular belief, he only appeared elder. Even in his young years, this old pervert looked like he was over one hundred. I always mocked him about it - harmless fun - but now I can’t even do that without feeling like sick to my stomach. I probably killed him. He wouldn’t have died if it weren’t for me. The only reason these town weirdos even gave him a burial was because they were so obsessed with religion, and giving a proper send off to any soul was just mandatory to them. They all hated him though. He was my caretaker after all. Anyone that cares about me is a monster to them.

Wordlessly I stood before his tombstone, a bitter taste on my tongue. I guess I was on my own now. If I felt lonely before, now I’m drowning in isolation. He was the closest thing I had to a family, like a grandpa, or even a father. A really old, perverted, father. I miss the creepy smiles he gave me when I was feeling down, and I miss those rare moments when he would tell me something wise and inspirational. I miss his big, wrinkled, hands, ruffling my already messy head of hair. He told me this day would come eventually, but I wouldn’t accept it. I thought God would save him for me. If I simply prayed every night, truthfully, I believed he would give Jiraiya the strength and health he so desperately needed. But the old man got sick, and as every day passed, the reality became inevitable. He was dying. He knew it, I knew it deep inside myself, and the entire town knew it. They would occasionally stop by our house and throw stones at our windows, yelling a bunch of curses. I was so angry, I wanted to march out there and teach them a lesson about respecting their elders, but Jiraiya would always grab me by my shoulder and smile sadly at me, gently telling me to leave them be. He said God was the only one who could punish people for their mistakes. Was he wrong? I was the only one being punished. It wasn’t fair. Those kids had parents and a home to go back to, and I had nothing now. I keep trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, but I can’t find a reason to why I lost him. I always get the short end of the stick.

I fell to my knees and cried.

Tears ran down my face, and rain quickly camouflaged them. I can’t cry, I don’t deserve to cry. Not yet. This isn’t going to break me just yet. I was supposed to be stronger than this. If they saw me crying now, they’d think I lost. This crazy town would win. I can’t let them win. They’re the ones that God will punish, not me. I had to stay positive - there was always something positive in a situation. Things can always be worse, no matter how horrible your situation might seem. Yeah, I feel like my life is ending. Sure, I can feel the impending doom suffocate me right now. Right now sucked. This very moment in time was the worst. I can’t think or something more painful than this feeling right now. But it can’t be this horrible forever. The universe has to even out eventually. This day just means that another day will come, and it’ll be equally as amazing. I will be returned the sadness I gave out today. It was just the laws of nature. I’m only twelve after all, my entire life was ahead of me.

But for now, I’ll just cry. For now, I’ll let myself lose. They might have won the battle, but the war isn’t quite over yet. Well done, crazy town, you won a point. I am suffering. I feel like a monster, just like you want me to, just like you’ve always wanted me to. I feel like I could just scream out in agony, and yell at God himself. Yell at him for doing this to me right now. Holler at him about why my parents were gone, and how many more times I would have to suffer like now. How many more tragedies I would have to live through. I want to be angry at him, and hold a grudge. What if he isn’t even real? He could just be made up. What kind of father would do this to his child? He couldn’t feel my pain, my loss. He would never truly understand how much this has damaged me.

After a while of sobbing out loud, I turned to leave and instead was faced with another boy. He was wearing all black, as expected at a funeral, and had himself covered with a clear, plastic, umbrella. I probably looked insane standing underneath the rain with no cover, soaking wet and red from crying. My hair was dripping, and my eyes were puffy. I subconsciously covered my head to protect it from the rain, despite it being far too late, and suddenly felt cold and exhausted. I was tired. I wanted to walk home and sleep, yet I was afraid to leave. If I get home, I’ll be able to feel his absence. He won’t welcome me home. He was never home anyway, but at least then I knew it was because he was on a trip. I knew he’d eventually come back, now he won’t. He’s gone for good.

The boy took a step closer, unintentionally splashing water on me. I pouted when I felt dirty water hit my pants. Great, it’s not like I was wet enough, thank you very much, bastard. I eyed the stranger eerily, ready to hear his mocking laughter, or pitiful apology. They never actually felt sorry for me. They think I deserve this, for being a monster. Maybe they were right, but for now, I won’t let them have the satisfaction. Even if I am a monster - a beast - or even a demon. Who cares? I was put on this earth for a reason, right? There has to be a reason for my existence. I can’t just… exist. I clenched my fists angrily, tired of the silence, “Say it already! Say how much I deserve this - say how I’m the reason he died! Tell me I’m a monster!” My raspy voice cracked, and suddenly, I was sobbing again. I can’t cry, not in front of this kid! I desperately wiped at my eyes, trying to dry my tears, but I couldn’t even tell the difference between my tears, and the rain. It was frustrating.

“Are you a monster?” was the mumbled question. My eyes shot up, and suddenly I knew who the kid was. Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha. It was him. His pale chubby face hidden behind a pitch black rain coat hood, and a small frown on his lips. His eyes were covered, so I couldn’t tell what he was feeling. Probably disgusted. My eyes narrowed dangerously. After all these years, we meet again.

I silently repeated his question in my head, and what was my answer? Was I really a monster - a demon? This town had my mind all jumbled up, and now I wasn’t so sure what the truth was. If I said yes, they would win, but I feel like that’s the answer at this point, right? My own guardian died. He wasn’t even that old, and he died of an incurable illness, in a small town, away from all the expert doctors that could’ve saved him. He refused to go to the city, no matter how much I begged and cried. He said if he died, it was meant to be, God wanted him back in Heaven. Why was this town so insane about religion and God? Sometimes you need doctors, God can’t save you from everything, can he? Just one visit, and I would’ve been happy, but this crazy town had filled his head with ideas, and nobody was changing his mind. I should’ve gone myself to the city and begged a doctor to come and see him, but I didn’t even know how to drive yet, and the nearest city is far from walking distance. Still, it was my job to try harder, to be more stubborn. I killed him.

“I’m… not sure.” I kept my voice low, and my head down. My pants were filthy. The rain and mud soaked my bottoms, and I gave up on covering my head, it was pointless. I’d probably be sick by tomorrow, with how wet I am now, there wasn’t a doubt about it in my mind. I… wasn’t a monster, right?

“You’re an idiot. Do you even know how monsters look like?” Sasuke asserted bitterly, his rubber rain boots splashed through the water as he made his way to stand in front of me. Then, he simply stared at me. I could finally see his metallic eyes, making a strange tingle run down my spine. His look was intense. To anyone else passing by, we would’ve looked like a pair of kids having a stare-off, but we were looking right through ourselves. I could see his slight hesitation and reluctance to approach me, but there was also stubborn determination behind his rather simple looking gaze. I bet he could see my broken heart, and desperation for some sort of relief. I needed to escape, to break free, somehow. I’m not sure how, but I wanna step over my boundaries and be… free.

“How the heck am I supposed to know? They probably come in all sort of shapes and sizes, bastard.” I barked at him, glaring right into those dark orbs that stare at everyone so condescendingly all the time.

“Swearing is for people with low vocabulary skills.” the bastard chided smugly, a small smirk playing on his pale lips. The raven crossed his arms smoothly, not an inch of hesitation in his actions now. He was practically overflowing with confidence as it poured off him in waves.

“Wha- you bastard!” I screeched loudly, tired of his mockery. I was too tired of people acting like a bunch of smartasses, I hated being seen as less. I raised my fist and hit him straight across his left cheek, a loud moist smack was heard. My eyes were shut tight, I didn’t want to see the damage I caused, or the look of hate and disgust on his face. I didn’t want to see another person run away from me in fear or horror. I couldn’t take another person seeing me as a beast from Hell. I already had a town full of people calling me satanic and evil - not Sasuke. He wasn’t supposed to hate me, ever. I wasn’t supposed to hit him, or call him a bastard, but that’s the only way I can handle these types of situations.

Before I could take a peek, I felt a hard kick to the side of my gut, and I fell to the ground in pain. Ouch. I guess he wasn’t gonna run away from me. I gazed up at him and saw those amazing dark eyes glaring right down at me, boiling with anger and aggression. He suddenly threw his umbrella on the ground, and jumped on me. We wrestled on the muddy ground for a few minutes, rain pouring on us heavily, and thunder rumbling around us. It must’ve been a real sight to behold from any outsiders point of view, but luckily, nobody else was around. We were in complete isolation, and our world’s, even if just for a small moment, revolved around each other. Heavy panting left our shivering lips, and whispered curses were mumbled here and there. I yanked at his dumb bangs, he grabbed onto whatever messy blond hair he could reach. My heart was pounding and I started laughing ridiculously loud, making his freeze in confusion. We weren’t grunting or pulling anymore, simply sitting on the mud, in the rain, side-by-side.

“Are you… alright?” grumbled Sasuke with a pout. He looked… hilarious. I only laughed harder, I felt amazing! We really were a pair of dorks, huh?

Sasuke’s hair was a complete mess. His bangs were pulled around his head spontaneously, no real style to them at all, and the rest of his hair was wet and soaked, much similar to my own. His cheeks were covered in mud, and red from wrestling around in the rain for so long. He looked… amazing. Free and wild. It fit him incredibly well. I sort of liked the look on him, but by the cranky look he was giving me, he didn’t agree in the slightest. The raven finally must’ve realized how dumb we looked. He stood up gracefully and made his way to his umbrella - now soaked in mud - then picked it up. The young Uchiha shivered in his soggy clothing meanwhile muttering soft curse words, he didn’t spare me a second glance. I felt guilty all of a sudden. Did he walk all the way out here? For me? Impossible.

“Do… you wanna walk to my place? I could make us some hot cocoa or something…” I could barely hear myself over the heavy rain, but Sasuke appeared to understand me because he nodded softly. I felt bubbles in my belly, and I awkwardly stood up. I feel so… weird all of a sudden. Almost embarrassed. I could feel Sasuke standing behind me, covering us with his umbrella, as I lead us to my place.

We crossed many buildings on our way out of the central part of town. We didn’t have many buildings, but the ones we did have, were all around the central town area. The sheriff department, clinic, market, and church were all located at the heart of Konoha. We were a very tight community, excluding myself, so having all of the important buildings nearby was only common sense. I always wondered what I would do if I had an emergency and needed a doctor or officer, but they wouldn’t help me anyway, so the thought was meaningless. I had to fend for myself from now on. If I needed medical attention, I would have to learn how to handle medical equipment. At least simple things, like bandages and stitches. Maybe even learn how to clean an injury before it got infected - It’s important information to have. It would help me throughout my entire life, even after I get the hell out of this town.

“Here we are.” I awkwardly showcased my lame house before going up the stone path and wooden stairs. The old man’s place wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was very home-like, and that’s exactly what I needed, a home. It’s not like we had many mansions around town, but people here did make sure I stayed in the cheapest building, just to put me in my place or whatever. Jokes on them, ‘cause I could care less where I lived. I could be under a bridge, begging for scraps, as long as I was loved and supported by my family. If I could live under a bridge with Jiraiya the rest of my life, I would. He would’ve made it home. We didn’t need much to be happy.

The front door creaked open, and I stepped inside the chilling house. This wasn’t home anymore. It was a house, but it wasn’t my home. I could hear Sasuke set his umbrella down beside the door with a small thud and I tried to erase the pain from my face before rushing to the kitchen with a crackling laugh, “do you like marshmallows in your cocoa?” my tone was light and sugary sweet. Fake.

“...jumbo marshmallows?” questioned the raven boy. He sat on our only penny colored couch with a sigh. His hands rubbed against each other for warmth.

“Uh… nope,” I chuckled sadly as I held my bag of mini marshmallows in one hand, “It’s actually the opposite. Baby ‘mallows. Still want any?”

“Sure.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and grinned to myself. I feel warm. I thought returning to this place would fill me with sadness and hate, but with Sasuke here, there was none of that. It’s like he filled the emptiness Jiraiya left behind. Sasuke could never replace the old man, but at least I wasn’t alone. Being alone is the worst feeling. Being alone makes silence, and silence makes it easier to think about things. I didn’t want to think right now. I didn’t want to keep blaming myself for everything… for his death. They always say that nobody was to blame for someone’s death, it was simply his time, but I was to blame for Jiraiya’s death. Everyone around me dies. He was just a victim to my misfortune.

I shook those dark thoughts from my head and took out the rest of the ingredients for our hot cocoa. If that old man taught me anything, it was how to make some bomb-tastic hot cocoa. He was the expert at it! I never tasted a better hot cocoa than his - probably because I never tried another hot cocoa, but that’s besides the point. He eventually showed me his secret to making it, and I never forgot. It was a bittersweet memory now that he was gone. I have been entrusted with his top secret recipe, so now it is my duty to use it purely for good, and not evil! Sasuke better appreciate this. It’s going to be the best cup of deliciousness he’s ever had the pleasure of drinking!

I was so invested in my cocoa measurements that I failed to notice a very amused Uchiha standing at the kitchen doorway. He seemed already warmed up, and his hair was slightly less soaking, but still very noticeably wet from the rain. “Are you trying to impress me with your cocoa making skills?” asked the smug raven. I jumped up at his presence, accidentally adding too much powder into the mixture. An annoyed pout covered my face when I turned to look at Sasuke.

“Now I gotta start all over again - and no, I’m not impressing anyone - making hot cocoa must be treated like an art no matter when, even if I’m making hot cocoa for a complete bastard…” I muttered softly, trying my best to hide my embarrassment of being found so concentrated on such a simple task. He didn’t understand the importance! Sasuke was sort of my first friend over, and maybe I did want to impress him a little, but that's none of his business. Like hell I’m gonna boost his ego that much.

“An art? How about instead you impress me by showing me where the towels are, I need to dry my hair.” Sasuke stood beside me, looking over my shoulder and down at the now empty mugs. One mug was completely brown - a sort of caramel brown - and had the phrase ‘be the best you’ imprinted onto it with black bubbled text, the handle was a darker shade of brown. The second mug was midnight colored with yellow stars around it, except the stars look like they were drawn by a five-year-old. They appeared to be homemade, and Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at them, his curiosity being peaked all of a sudden.

“Can you stop hovering over me like that? It’s creeping me out, and the towels are in the closet to the right of the front door. You can use an orange one, they’re the softest ones.” I used an elbow to push back Sasuke, I was getting slightly nervous with him staring down my back. When I felt his presence gone, I took a deep breath. Why was I so nervous? Sasuke wasn’t judging me. He doesn’t hate me. What else is there to be nervous about? It doesn’t make any sense. I finally have someone I can consider a friend… I can’t scare him away now. What if he gets annoyed or weirded out? What if I can’t look him in the eyes because I’m so nervous, and he decides to leave early? I’ll be all alone again. I don’t wanna be all alone anymore. Not right now.

I silently mixed the two hot mugs of heaven - they were made perfectly, just like Jiraiya taught me. The milk had to be piping hot, with delicious steam hovering over it. It had to be mixed with a secret cocoa powder - Abuelita hot chocolate - and a number of other spices, such as cinnamon and brown sugar. You don’t add too much cinnamon or brown sugar! - only a hint. Barely enough to even call it an ingredient. When you mix, mix with your left hand, I’m not sure why, Jiraiya never explained that part to me. Once everything is properly and completely melted, add those mouthwatering marshmallows! I’m not a huge fan of the fluffy angels, so I added only five mini mallows to my drink. Sasuke had originally asked for jumbo mallows, so I added twice as many for him.

I carefully held both mugs (by the handles) and gleefully made my way to the couch. Sasuke was already seated, silently staring at the frames hung on the dirt brown walls. I slowed my pace, a small frown on my face. The framed photos were of me and the old man. In a much larger frame, there was an image of me laughing vividly at the cameraman - which happened to be Jiraiya - and holding up a small pup. The puppy was a mixed mutt, the fur was a dirty blond color. Jiraiya had saved it from the pound a day before it was scheduled to be killed, and I was so determined to keep it healthy and safe. I named it Kurama, like the character from my favorite ninja anime, and I fell in love with him. My mistake was taking him for a walk too close to the town. Some teenagers started following me, and they eventually cornered me in an ally. I was begging them to leave me alone, and Kurama bit one of them on the leg. It was satisfying at first, but once I saw that same leg step on Kurama’s head, all I felt was a chilling emptiness. His head… it popped so easily… and the blood wouldn’t stop pouring. I could barely breathe, my guts were twisting and the blood just kept pouring out. Help, somebody help me please, it’s my fault, it’s my fault, it’s my-

“Naruto! Please open your eyes, Naruto, you’re scaring me and I don’t know what to do!” Sasuke was shaking my shoulders harshly, and suddenly my lungs opened up again. I took a deep breath and sighed heavily in relief. What happened? Sasuke’s eyes were wide with horror and worry as he kneeled beside me, and I was laid on the couch awkwardly. Did he carry me on here? But why....

“You suddenly dropped the mugs on the floor and started freaking out, you were shaking and panting, I didn’t know why you lost it, or how to help you…” Sasuke couldn’t even look at my eyes, he was choking out the words painfully, like it hurt him to even remember what happened. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my best not to cry. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Freaking out… having a panic attack, it wasn’t supposed to happen with Sasuke here. I didn’t want to scare him off. Now he was afraid. Now he’ll never want to come over again. He probably hates me and thinks I’m a freak, just like the rest of them, the rest of this crazy town. He won’t ever want to-

“You’re alright now though… you can breathe again.” his voice was soft and warm, much like the hot cocoa I spilt on the carpet, and it made my eyes open wide. Suddenly, his hand was in mine, and I realized how sweaty my palms were. My heartbeat started slowing down, and I was relieved. Was I about to have another panic attack? Why? I felt so calm, and bubbly. And Sasuke was right. I was alright now. He didn’t look disgusted. Sasuke looked just as relieved as I felt, and it brought small tears to my eyes. It was okay to cry now. Nobody would see it as weak. I wasn’t weak. I was alright. At least for now, I was truly alright.

_As long as I'm next to you, I don't care._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? Please bless me with your beautiful comments, because I love to read your opinions and ideas. I promise the next chapter will be centered back on our lovely star, Sasuke. I know how eager you guys are to hear about the trans problems, and the process of puberty. He is a teenager after all, so there's a lot going on inside him - changing. A deeper voice, bigger build, and facial hair. How will he respond to those changes? Look forward to next week's upload! Comment please and thank you~


	5. Maybe I'll Wake Up Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of drama and bad news for Sasuke, and Naruto being the supportive amazing person he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter is actually a lot longer than I expected it to be, so hopefully you enjoy that, and it makes up for my absence. There is a lot happening in this chapter, and it finally begins the plot of my story. I can't spoil too much, so all I can say is enjoy the chapter, and please leave me a comment. I love reading and responding to you opinion or ideas of the chapter.

**II Corinthians 12:9-11 (NIV)**

_ “But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” _

The sound was excruciating. It was similar to limbs being torn off, or muscles being ripped apart slowly and mercilessly. Nothing like a lullaby or musical instrument, not one bit soothing or comforting. It was a constant humming sound - playing silently, yet persistently, throughout my entire life. I couldn’t escape it. I am stuck hearing it over and over and over again, like running in  some sick and twisted maze. The feeling is much worse - but bearable. I can withstand the pain, and it eventually comes to an end. The pain is physical… it’s real and tangible. I can feel it coming to an end - with time. The sound? It never goes away. It mocks me, like a smirk chuckle from a sinister priest, or the condescending tapping of an impatient foot. All of it was meaningless, really. All I can do is push it out. Kick it out of my system. Throw it all up.

The flavor was probably the most sickening of it all. I can bear pain, and tune out sound eventually, but this atrocious flavor? It won’t be washed off. My tongue - like a sponge - soaks it up, and no matter how much I scrub it off with layers and layers of paste, it remains. The flavor is like a reminder of my true self. I can’t escape this body, and I’m being punished for even thinking about it. I should be grateful. I’m alive, wealthy, and somewhat ‘healthy’. I was given everything, and yet, my life is a misery. I hate waking up and feeling who I am. I dream my life is a nightmare, that I can  eventually wake up from whatever dreadful comma I’m in. Or perhaps I’m living someone else’s life, and when I’m done, I’ll finally be allowed to live inside my own body again. I’ve been cursed, and I haven’t the slightest idea of what to do. Is someone else supposed to help me, or am I my own savior? I need a sign. I need something to tell me what the answer is - or else - I fear I might die. I don’t want to die in this body. I barely want to live in this horrendous body, the least I deserve is to die in my rightful body - my real body. 

It all began this morning when I woke up with a fright. I wasn’t having a nightmare, but for some odd reason, my body was covered in sweat and my eyes were swollen from tears. I couldn’t figure out what had happened to suddenly disrupt my sleep, but I shrugged it off casually and decided I needed to pee anyway. On my way to the restroom I overheard my mother and father speaking quietly in their bedroom. The door was shut, but I could still make out their hushed voices, and I would’ve eavesdropped if I didn’t already  know about my father’s terrifying abilities to catch people off guard. I didn’t have the mood for an hour long lecture and belt hitting - I’ll save those bad decisions for another day. I was already feeling sick to my stomach for some unknown reason, so I just continued towards the restroom. They always had these late night/early morning conversations about secrets or whatever. Stuff they didn’t tell me about. Itachi was usually also part of it, but since he was still away, it was just the two of them now. For all I know they can definitely be planning my murder. That’s a very possible idea, but I doubt my mother would play part in such a sinister plan, so I guess that’s not it.  Whatever it was - I wasn’t part of it. That was clear enough. 

When I finally snuck into the the marble restroom, I took a look into the body sized mirror. There, on that horrific reflection of mine, I saw the culprit to all of my problems. The reason why I was so sick this morning, and why I woke up in a sudden fright - the reason why my life could only possibly get worse from now on. A single hair hung from my usually hairless and smooth chin. It wasn’t something a regular teenager would freak out over, but for someone like me, it sent off a dangerous alert to my mind. It signaled the beginning and the end of a period in my life - a period that I wouldn’t necessarily describe as perfect, but was much better than what the rest of my life is sure to victimize me to. I was...becoming a man. An actual adult male. I could feel the shivers run down my sweaty back, and the torture began.

That is how I ended up here. In my marble restroom, on the marble ground, throwing up in my porcelain toilet. It’s sort of ironic, isn’t it? When you imagine marble and porcelain you imagine purity and cleanliness - but not me. I feel sick. This restroom, this floor, the toilet, it all makes me feel disgusting. I feel powerless and weak because I can’t do anything to stop this transformation from happening. I am a man because that’s the body God decided to give me, and now, the proof is showing. In a matter of weeks I’ll probably have a full beard, and my voice has only deepened these past weeks - but that I could ignore. I kept pretending I didn’t notice anything, but who am I kidding? I’m already 17 years old. There is no avoiding this. I thought puberty wouldn’t ever come for me because I was the only 16 year-old guy with small shoulders and baby soft skin, but I was wrong. I am wrong. Now it’s all arriving so fast, I can barely keep up. 

After half an hour of emptying my stomach I decided it was time to wash my mouth and show my face. I began to stand up but my knees were too weak and I fell back onto the floor. I could feel hot tears begin to overflow in my eyes, and I was suddenly full of grief. Why am I crying? Am I really this weak? I can’t even stand on my two feet anymore because this body isn’t mine...it just isn’t mine. I gazed into the mirror as I felt the tears finally roll down my ghostly cheeks, and engraved into the mirror was the word of God. Yes, I could remember this verse, my father made me memorize every verse -  _ Isaiah 26: 3-4 Those of steadfast mind you keep in peace—because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord God you have an everlasting rock.  _

An everlasting rock… God is my everlasting rock. He holds me down and keeps me strong. In him, I can trust, because he is my rock. If I want to change my life, I have to be strong. I must reveal what my true feelings are and trust in God that everything really will be alright. God cannot do everything for me. He can’t tell my parents that I’m feeling sick in this body - and he can’t help them understand why - but he can stand beside me, and be my rock. Nothing can change if I don’t start the change. I know my father. He’s religious to a fault. My mother is obedient to a fault. I’m not perfect either - if anything I’m the worst, I would even consider myself beyond forgiveness at this point, but all that I can do is have faith. I can’t remain a prisoner forever because at some point I would only become a prisoner to myself, and not others. I need to break free and come out of this dreadfully dark closet. 

With a sudden burst of power and confidence, I pushed myself off the ground. I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth with assurance. I could suddenly feel a smirk on my lips because… I’m actually excited. I’m so excited to finally be myself. There was a part of myself dying, and now I can finally be free. At this point the outcome doesn’t even matter as long as the truth is out. I can’t put this off. As soon as I finish brushing my teeth and washing my face, I’ll march straight into their bedroom - after knocking of course, I’m not an animal - and demand to speak to them. Even if my mother begs me to stay silent, and my father suddenly throws a hissy fit, I will not back down anymore. I’m so sick of backing down - I need liberation. I need to start the healing process.

I dried my face with a cloth we keep in the restroom and smiled at my reflection. Maybe I’m not in the right body… but I’m still beautiful, right? I’ve been in this body long enough, and I’ve gotten to know it. I understand it. It just isn’t my body, and because of that, I need to move on. I want to move on. I want to love myself and not feel uncomfortable with who I am. I don’t want people to call me a man anymore, and I don’t want girls checking me out. I feel sick whenever Sakura forces her body against mine for attention - because I don’t like her that way. It’s as simple as that. She isn’t disgusting or repulsive, she’s actually quite pretty, and I envy her. Sakura can be herself, and everyone likes her that way. She’s smart, attractive, and confident. If I were a confident guy who doesn’t hate his body, I’d probably find her hot, but I’m not. Quite the contrary actually. I’m not a guy, and I dislike my body at the moment, so I feel extremely uncomfortable when another girl tries to rub her chest on my arm. Hasn’t she heard of the phrase, “tact”? I wouldn’t go as far as calling her a slut, but she’s definitely not the angel my father thinks she is. 

I sighed and shook all my nerves out. If I show even an inch of hesitation or doubt my father can use it against me. He’s like a shark circling its prey. I can’t be nervous. Only confidence. That’s all I can feel - assurance and confidence. 

I put on a serious face and prepared to knock on the red wooden door - until I heard the sound of my mother crying. That couldn’t possibly be a good sign at all. It wasn’t just any simple cry, it was an anguishing and painful cry - almost a cry for help. She sounded genuinely horrified. The sound froze me in place. My mother never cried like this - she rarely cried at all. She always did her best to be strong in front of me and my brother, that’s just how she raised us. I knew she was suffering with my father, but it was comforting to see her always act so composed and indifferent to his cold attitude; it inspired me to stay strong too. If I ever felt lost or tired of my situation, all I had to do was turn her way, and strength came to me. Whatever is happening inside this room must be truly awful if it’s making her cry in such a terrifying way. I can feel my nerves and doubt returning, and suddenly, this idea wasn’t so simple or liberating anymore. It felt very very wrong.

Before I could make up my mind, the traitorously red door swung open dramatically, and I shook in fear. The door slammed open, like thunder, and hit against the wall. My mother stood shocked, her eyes were red and swollen from tears, and her skin was strikingly pale. Her usually soft and warm eyes were confused and pained, and when they met with my own eyes, tears began pouring again. Something was very wrong, and so far, nobody has said a word to me about what was happening. My mother fell to her knees and sobbed loudly, meanwhile father sat on the bed inside the bedroom with a haunting look across his face. He hasn’t even turned my way - and that scared me. It was clearly not the moment to come out with my true feelings. 

“Mother,” I sat beside her on the ground and held onto her hand tightly, “what in the world is going on?” 

She sobbed even louder and squeezed my hand, “I-Itachi...he…” her voice broke, and as soon as I heard my brother’s name I felt my heart skip a beat in fear, “he’s dead!” Her voice resonated throughout the entire house, and with her single statement, everything went mute. I watched as my mother broke down again in tears, but couldn’t hear it. My father continued to sit still and silently, his eyes closed in prayer. Everything began to fade into mush and blurr - nothing made sense anymore. I spoke to Itachi only days ago. We video chatted, and he was laughing and smiling carelessly. He promised to be home by the end of this week. He swore. Nothing seemed off at all - and I didn't even say goodbye. I simply… hung up. 

I felt a chill slither down my spine, a chill so cold that it froze me still. My eyes were comically wide with horror as I wordlessly looked down at my lap. What was I about to do? Why was I here in the first place? Whatever stupid idea I had before was gone now, because all I can think about is never seeing my brother again. I can never hear his stupid voice, or see his stupid face, or hold his stupid hand when I'm afraid. I will never be able to say goodbye again. The last thing I told him was how much I hated him for leaving me alone in this town. I was angry because he kept lying about when he would come back - he kept pushing the date further and further away - it almost felt like he never wanted to return. I don't blame him if that were the case because I hate this town with a passion, but Itachi was different. He was supposed to be different. Itachi loved this town. He didn't agree with a lot of the things that happened here, but Itachi loved this town so much because he grew up here. 

Unlike myself, Itachi connected with many of the people in this town. He didn't agree with their ideals, but he took the time to get to know them and their struggles. As much as I hate these people I understand that they're human too. They make mistakes and have problems. Itachi grew up around everyone here - and they all loved and respected him. They respect me too, but that's because they don't know my truth yet. They only respect me because I'm the perfect son of the priest. I'm quiet and obedient, and I follow every rule in this twisted town. I never forget my place, and my mouth stays shut. People love it when your mouth only opens on command. They enjoy seeing people trained like good pets - only barking back when allowed, and rolling over on our bellies for their own amusement. 

None of that matters now. Nothing has any meaning anymore. Itachi is dead. I finally broke out of my trance and realized I was back on my bed. I had been facing the ceiling this entire time, and it almost felt like hours had gone by. I turn my head to face the clock beside my bed, and to my shock, it had been hours. It's already night time - again. Well it was morning when this all began, but very early morning, like midnight or one. The day just disappeared. My father must've eventually taken me back to my room, but I'm not quite sure when. Either way, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. Have I said that already? Well, who cares. Nothing really matters anymore. It's obvious that I'm going to be stuck in this town for the rest of my life. I'm probably going to become a priest - just like my father - and have two children with some girl in my class. 

I felt my cell phone vibrate underneath me, and for a moment, I didn't want to answer it. I was sure that whatever conversation I would have would be meaningless - that no matter who it was, I would still only feel pain and emptiness - but when I saw that stupid name ID on the screen, I couldn't ignore it. My bright screen read ‘Ninja Boi’, and I wordlessly answered the call. My mind wasn't in the mood for a bubbly and pointless conversation, but I sort of needed a distraction right now. I felt like I was losing my mind all alone.

“You answered - holy cow! - you never answer me, well that's a lie, you always answer me, but you know what I mean…” I could hear that stupid laughter in Naruto's voice, but I still felt alone. He usually made me feel better, but hearing him so happy made me angry. How could he be so happy? How could anyone be happy? Didn't they feel the world off balance? Itachi is dead. Itachi died. I don't know how, but he's gone. The world should be on fire because he doesn't exist in this world anymore. People shouldn't be happy. Naruto shouldn't be laughing.  

“Can you shut up for like a second? Are you so desperate for attention that you need to squawk around all the time to keep me entertained? What are you, a pathetic loner?” the words left my mouth before I could even think, and the burning sensation of regret and guilt built up inside my chest immediately. That wasn't what I was supposed to say - that was wrong of me. Naruto never means to be an annoying idiot, that's just the way he was born, and I mean that in the least rude way possible. 

“Eh? What's wrong with you...only days ago you were carrying me to my place, and now you treat me like chopped liver! You're a real drama queen, ya know?” His voice was still lively, but there was a hint of concern in it. I was relieved he didn't take the comment personally, but a much darker side of me was furious that I didn't upset him even a bit. What the hell is wrong with me? 

“Sorry… I'm just,” I paused because I wasn't sure how to finish that sentence - what was I? Do I want to tell him the truth? Maybe after he knows the truth, he'll stop being so damn happy-go-lucky. “Itachi died.” 

The silence was deafening, and all I could hear was his steady breathing. For some odd reason, the sound was comforting, and I pressed the phone closer against my ear. I slowed down my own breathing, and our breaths became one. We were synchronized. I shut my eyes gently, and I could just imagine that stupid idiot beside me, on my bed. His warm skin clashed against my cold skin. His bleached hair clashed against my inked locks. His rough fingers held my smooth ones. We were in peace together - in a world with only each other. That world didn't seem so hopeless or terrible. Much unlike the world I actually live in. Then the spell was broken when he opened his mouth.

“...Sasuke I'm-” he cut himself off before he could even finish. What was he gonna say? I'm sorry? I'm shocked? Naruto can't heal me. He doesn't even understand me as much as he thinks he does. Itachi understood me. I never told him the truth, but he has a funny way of just knowing things. I hope he knows the real me. Now I can never tell him the truth. Now he died only ever knowing the fake me. My own brother will never know the truth - nobody can ever know the truth. Whatever random surge of power was inside me before must've died alongside Itachi. My brother was my rock. He was the only one that kept me balanced on this earth. How can I live without him? Now father will surely be devastated. His entire focus and anger will be on me from now on. Mother will be too busy mourning the loss of her eldest son - she won't mind casting a blind eye towards what my father does to me.  

 

“Sasuke?” The voice on the other line was raspy, and I knew that idiot must be crying. 

“Yes?” I rolled over and stared out my window. The night sky always looks so clear in this town. That's about the only thing I don't hate about this small town - the sky. I know the city brings a lot of pollution from factories, so the night sky is always so musky and dark, but in a small town like Konoha, you can see every star clearly. Itachi once told me that the stars were souls. He said that if he ever died, he would become the brightest star in the sky, and he would love the view. I told him he was ridiculous, and if he did die, he would become a ghost that would never stop annoying me. I hope I was wrong. I hope he's a star with the best view.

“What do you when you can't fall asleep?” Naruto whispered into the cell mic, and I felt his small voice tickle my neck. 

I closed my eyes in remembrance, imagining my big brother smiling down at me. He always helped me when I was too afraid to fall asleep. The answer came easily to me. “When I couldn't fall asleep… Itachi would make me pancakes.” The response probably sounded strange since I'm not a huge fan of sweet food, but when Itachi made pancakes, they were perfect. He would make some for himself and eat them with me. That was years ago, of course, when I was a young boy. I stopped asking him for help once I hit twelve years old. I thought it was too childish to keep waking him up so late at night - and I was right - but I still miss the feeling it gave me. It always made me feel… normal. 

“Pancakes, eh? I didn't see that coming…” the line went silent for a few seconds, until I heard him clear his throat, “were they good pancakes?” 

Where is this conversation headed? “Obviously. I wouldn't eat them if they weren't.” I scoffed as if the question was offensive - which it was - because of course his pancakes were good. Duh. 

“Were they… really really good, hm?” I could hear a hint of mockery in his voice, and my brow twitched. 

“Yes - they were fantastic - what the hell is your point?” I snapped rudely, finally fed up with all these emotions inside me. I thought Naruto would make me feel peaceful, but I forgot how brainless he can be sometimes. Sometimes usually means most times. Why is this guy even my friend? I keep forgetting.

“Sorry! Sorry! I just…. I like it when you yell at me…” the confession was low and mumbled, but I could hear it clearly. My eyes widened in shock and confusion. What kind of perverted weirdo is this guy? My brother is dead! What… I can't understand how he thinks this is even remotely appropriate right now. 

“It's nothing weird! I just can't handle awkward situations… like now.” Naruto quickly broke the awkward silence that followed his naughty confession, his voice was cracked and weak. I bit back my bitter remark and stayed silent. “When I… when I lost my parents I was devastated. Maybe it isn't the same, ya know? Because you're a lot older than I was, and you understand what death really means, but it was still death. Nobody would explain what happened...or why. One second my mom and dad were alive, and the next, the house is on fire - and they're screaming out my name.” I heard him choke on his words for a second, then the line went dead. Suddenly I felt pressured to comfort him instead, but he chuckled softly, and continued without a bit of hesitation.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to make this all about me, but I was trying to basically say that life sucks a lot.” Naruto sighed softly, sadly. “It can feel like there's no hope anymore - like no matter how much you believe and pray, only misfortune comes your way - but you always find a reason to keep believing. I found mine after Jiraiya died.” 

“What was your reason?” I couldn't help but ask. I was curious. Naruto is isolated by everyone in this dreadful place. My father can't stand him. He has the biggest mouth in town. What could've possibly risen him out of his dark stump? Whatever it was, I need some of it. 

“Well it's a little embarrassing...I'm not sure I wanna share it with you…you're a real bastard sometimes.” he sounded awkward and uncomfortable, and I rolled my eyes. 

“My brother just passed away, can you just tell me?” The irritation in my voice was clear, and I couldn't help but feel a bit bad that I'm intruding in his past. I can't believe he's afraid of telling me. I've known him for too many years now, and we might not be the closest, but I carried him home! Naruto is different from the rest of this town, and I think he realizes I'm different too. I hope he does. 

“Well… you were my reason.” The answer was stiff, like he knew it would only make things even more awkward, but he continued anyway, “this probably sounds weird to a guy who has the entire town drooling over him, but I wasn't very popular, remember? It was only me and Jiraiya kicking ass. Hinata was nice, but she was my teacher, so it wasn't the same. All of my friends were older than me, and I felt really hopeless sometimes. I wanted someone to talk about my kind of stuff, ya know? Like TV shows and ninjas! Jiraiya only spoke about all of his perverted novels, and Hinata would sometimes talk about baking and nature - which was fine! I loved talking to people about anything. I was bored out of my mind most of the time…” Naruto chuckled quietly. “I wasn't completely alone until Jiraiya died. That was my rock bottom. Do you remember that day? The day of his funeral. I call it the day of the end of my world. It sounds way overdramatic - I know - but when I was young, that old pervert was everything to me. He was my home.” 

It didn't take long for me to recall that day. It was one of the rainiest days of the year. I heard everyone in class gossiping about the death of the ‘poor old man who took care of that brat’. They would mumble about how hopeless he deserved to feel. They called him a murderer. They whispered about how everyone saw it coming. My head would ache with anger because someone was dead, and all those people could talk about was meaningless gossip. They never showed an ounce of sorrow or grief. I was determined to mourn the death of that old man. He deserved to be mourned for the life he lead in this town. When I saw Naruto in the rain, sobbing in agony, my heart clenched in my chest. He was alone, wet and alone. I never regretted going that day.

“That day was supposed to be the worst day of my life, but you made it better. You were there, in all black, and underneath your stupid plastic umbrella. I thought you were gonna throw stones at me, or spit on his grave, or just do something smirk and fucking rude because that's who I thought Sasuke Uchiha was. I thought you were a rude bastard with no remorse or emotions! I thought you were like the rest. I was so wrong, and I deserved it when you threw yourself at me. When you pulled my hair and punched me in the rain. I deserved every minute of it - but so did you! Because you are a bastard. A bastard with a heart so big it's fucking bad for your health!” I heard Naruto laugh so loud I had to pull the phone further from my ear, but I quickly pulled it closer once he calmed down. My heart was racing, and I wasn't sure why. I could feel my cheeks warming up to a soft pink coloring. I wanted to interrupt his ridiculous rant, but I also wanted to shut up and just listen.

“I mean, who else comes to the funeral of some old man that they never knew? Who else would come to my house and panic for me when I freak out? Who would carry me all the way home because my feet are fucked up? That's only a big hearted bastard like you! You… you're my age, and you don't hate me. You like ninjas, and you hate orange, and you're fucking rude but I love that brute honesty. And for fuck sake - I'm not a masochist - I just love it when people are honest!” His laughter sung into my ear, and I couldn't help but grin a bit. This idiot was too much sometimes. 

“You helped me realize that although life totally sucks, because there's no denying that, life is also amazing. You're amazing Sasuke, and Itachi knows that. I'm sorry he isn't here anymore, that sucks. It sucks a lot. It probably feels horrible. It's okay to feel horrible, and It's okay to cry. You don't have to do it in front of anyone - you can cry alone. If you ever wanna cry with someone else, I'm here too. I know I act stupid a lot, but you were there when I needed comfort, so you better believe I'm here if you need it too.” 

I nodded gently, even though he can't see it through the phone. “Just...don't hang up.” It wasn't a command, but a quiet request. He hummed in agreement, and all there was left is his breathing. I didn't want to fall asleep alone, but asking my mother or father for comfort felt strange. They're probably in as much pain as I am. We need space. Just knowing that Naruto is somewhat here makes me feel calmer already. I could feel the darkness slowly consume me. I hummed into the phone before completely losing consciousness. Maybe I'll wake up from this life soon. Maybe Itachi is waiting for me to come home. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot going on - and Itachi's death is sort of unexpected and crazy - but you will see flashbacks of Itachi in chapters later to come. You will also find out how he died next chapter. This chapter was for Sasuke's internal struggle over not only his body changing, but also the death of his big brother. Itachi and Sasuke share a very special and deep bond. Itachi would take care of Sasuke, and he was usually the focus of Fugaku's attention. He kept the spotlight away from Sasuke. Now who knows what'll happen? Fugaku has a short temper...
> 
> The following chapter does not revolve around Naruto or Sasuke - but a few side characters. I want more story on Sakura and all of Sasuke's school mates. The small town of Konoha has many secrets - not just those involving our protagonists. Except a lot of drama and teenage angst in the next few chapters. If you're not interested in that, sorry! This is a slow burn story because I wanna fit in more characters. 
> 
> Also - WARNING - Sakura is NOT the "bad guy" in this story. You'll find out more about her in the next chapter. Thank you for reading, and please leave a comment! I love them :3


	6. Goody Two-Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is a goody two-shoes, and she hates it. Maybe a party can change things up for her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I've been gone for a good few months, and that's because of personal stuff, but here's a little chapter for anyone still interested. I wanted to give Sakura some character development - because Kishimoto unfortunately couldn't - so forgive me if this isn't what you wanted, but this is a slow burn for a reason. 
> 
> Also, I do NOT own Naruto/Naruto characters!

**Psalm 119:115**

_      Away from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commands of my God! _   
  


I felt the wind blow bubblegum strands of hair onto my face as I handed the produce to my mother's customer, “Have a lovely day, Ms. Nara!” I smiled brightly as the young mother strolled off with her pound of carrots. I wonder if she’s planning to make some sort of carrot cake or stew with that many carrots, she’s an excellent cook! I’m not a huge friend of her son, Shikamaru Nara, but he isn’t intolerable - unlike some people around here. At least he knows when to keep his mouth shut, which is most of the time, that guy rarely says anything. I can already picture that annoying blond haired buffoon - He’s the one I despise most of all. I mean, who else goes around screaming about his sexuality? Nobody even asked him about it, so what gives him the right to impose that information on us? And the look on Sasuke’s face when he said it… my blood boils just thinking about it. No matter how much I try, he never sees me at all - and that blond idiot just walks right in here and sweeps him away. 

I can’t start thinking about that right now, if I do I’ll want to go bug Sasuke and he isn’t in the mood for that. The town was just made aware of the death of Itachi Uchiha - otherwise known as the priests’ eldest and most promising son. Everyone’s moarning with them, and Sasuke hasn’t shown up to class since the announcement. I sometimes see him walking around the market alone, or sitting on a bench in the small park beside the school yard. He looks so… empty. I wish I could do something about his loss, but if I even try to approach him, he gives me the dirtiest glare I’ve ever seen. It makes my heart ache, because he obviously hates me. I just can’t figure out why. I hope I haven’t done anything to offend him - that’s the last thing I want. I care about him so much.

These past few days, since the announcement, the town has been spreading a nasty rumor regarding Itachi's’ death. All we know is that it was supposedly a suicide - according to Father Uchiha, - but everything around the death is mysterious. Itachi was a very bright and confident individual, I personally know that myself, because he was exceptional friends with my family. Why would such a strong person end their own life? Father Uchiha found his body hanging in the woods, only miles away from the town entrance, but why would Itachi drive all the way here to commit suicide? And why was Father Uchiha all the way outside the town, in the woods, at midnight? So far, nobody has said a word against him, but the town is starting to get rowdy with questions. We’ve tried remaining silent for the sake of decency and honor, but Itachi was very dear to everyone in town, so we want some answers. People have even started planning some sort of crazy alliance against the church - they’re absolutely mad. Like always, I try to stay far away from the lunatics here.

Since the object of my affection hasn't been around much anymore, I've decided to focus my muse onto more productive things. My mother needed help with her produce set-up at the market, so who better than her own brilliant daughter as help? She grows all sorts of vegetables and fruits, and everyone buys from her. Her produce is also donated to the church events we plan, so the entire town looks up to my family with honor and respect. Me and her run the shop the best we can, and my father is the only real disgrace to our family. He's always had this crazy dream of becoming a comedian in the big city - he hates living here. He drives the car into the city every weekend and comes back stinking of alcohol and despair. I'm so embarrassed by him, and so is my mother, but to divorce is a disgrace, so we put up with him. That doesn't mean I have to spend any personal time with him, the man doesn't even show up to Sunday prayers. All he does is leech onto our money like a bum.

I felt a soft tap on my shoulder and wake up from my daydream to see the only other competent girl in my class, Ino Yamanaka. She's my best and closest friend, and her family happens to be the second most honored family in the town. Her father is the mayor, and her mother is a stay at home mother raising her younger brother. And no, I'm not a suck-up, I just happen to surround myself with all the appropriate people. 

“Ino, to what do I owe the pleasure?” I ask sweetly, fluttering my eyes in an angelic way. The blonde scoffs at my act and puts her hand on her hip with sass, “Sakura, please, don't tell me nobody's invited you yet?” 

That certainly catches my attention. Invite me? I'm usually the one inviting people places - and if I'm not, I'm usually the one that gets invited first. I've never been the last person invited somewhere. I'm friends with everyone in town, so unless that idiotic blond moron is the one inviting everyone, I should've logically been invited first. Has my popularity gone down since the time I protected Sasuke in front of Father Uchiha? The event was a while ago, but even if I admit it was a risky move for me to do, I still don't regret it. He needed someone to defend him from the mistakes of that moron. I thought people would understand that since everyone likes Sasuke - if anything it should've made me more likable.

“Invite me to what? Are we having another bake sale for the church?” I ask innocently, earning a loud groan from Ino. She rolls her eyes with obvious agitation, but I'm too confused to care even a bit. She still hasn't explained anything, so she can be annoyed if she wants to be. 

“No, Ms. Goody two-shoes, Kiba is having a study session at his place tonight - I honestly thought he would have invited you by now…” Ino pauses abruptly, giving me a suspicious glance, “are you sure you aren't lying?” 

“Why would I lie about being invited to a study session?” I ask with a roll of my eyes. 

“How am I supposed to know how the mind of a goody two-shoes, like you, works?!” She responds dramatically, throwing her arms up to add effect to her loud words. People around the market start to give us weird looks, but as soon as they see me laughing awkwardly and waving my hand as an apology they continue on their own business. I glare at Ino threateningly and she childishly sticks her tongue out at me and gives me the thumbs down. 

“So when did Kiba decide to become the genius in class? He never studies, so this study session must be pretty intense to get him caught up with everything.” I continue the previous conversation without bother since Ino loves getting on my nerves. Our little talk was getting out of topic anyways, she's very easily distracted, it's a weakness of hers. 

“Yeah - never,” the blonde pauses to take a single cherry from our batch, and place it in her mouth with a smirk, “study session is actually code for, ‘party', or as adults like to call it, ‘frivolous teenage destruction’” her voice is muffled by the cherry in her mouth, and suddenly, she starts coughing uncontrollably until she spits out the cherry with a look of pure horror on her face, “cherries have seeds!” 

“Obviously - aren't you a little too old to just now be discovering this? Oh wait...don't tell me you don't know Santa isn't real either?” I retort smugly. Her cheeks heat up like two burning stoves, and I giggle uncontrollably - that's what she deserves for stealing from my mother! She has no idea how much hard work is put into these fruits and vegetables - everything! Berries and herbs are also my mother's specialty. She's truly magnificent. “And what about this party Kiba’s having?” 

Ino quickly composes herself again and clears her throat, “y-yeah, he's having a party since his folks are out of town for a week. It should be fun since we almost never have any parties around here.” 

“Weird…” I look down at all the strawberries displayed before me with confusion, “I wasn't invited.” 

“Probably because you'd tell on him as soon as his parents come back - you're such a suck-up.” Ino responds easily with a nasty smirk playing on her lips. She enjoys putting me down for being the town's favorite ‘goody two-shoes’. I follow every rule given to me by any adult - even if they're a bit extreme. I have a curfew, strict schedule, and even a future plan made by my mother. She's made it very clear how my future will play out, and so far I'm on track perfectly, the only thing out of place is Sasuke. He's part of my future plan too, according to her, and he doesn't seem to want to play to her plan. 

“That's not true - I can be bad.” I reply with a wicked smile. If Ino wants a bad girl, I can show her a bad girl. Being bullied has never been a huge issue for me, but being called goody two-shoes my entire life doesn't sound appealing. Doing a few naughty things can't possibly mess up my future plan, not if I'm very careful about it, and I'm one of the most careful people in town. Going to Kiba’s party is only step one of my plan! It sounds like the perfect beginning to my bad girl act. Ino, however, doesn't even look slightly impressed. 

“This is why Kiba didn't invite you, because you're such a good girl that even when you want to act bad, it doesn't work one bit.” The blonde flips her hair, dramatically flaunting her ability to act out of place. Her father rarely has time for his ‘little angel’, so he has blind trust in her - if only he knew the truth. Ino is one of the only few people that can get away with misbehaving in this town. I envy her for being so lucky. 

“Who cares if he didn't invite me? I already know, so I can crash it if I want. If he tries telling me otherwise, I wouldn't think twice about shutting the whole thing down by reaching out to Father Uchiha,” I smirk devilishly, already planning everything out in my head, “and we all know who'd win in that situation.” 

Ino appears to be looking me up and down with shock, “who knew Sakura could be a bad girl, it must be opposite day!” She claps excitedly, once again gaining unwanted attention from nearby shoppers. I give her another sharp glare and she quickly settles down a bit, an impish smile on her face before speaking, “anyway, don't be afraid to wear anything daring, if you can find anything like that in your good-girl wardrobe.” She winks at me playfully sticking out her tongue, then turns on her heel to leave. I can't help the giddy giggle that leaves my lips once she's out of sight. This should definitely be fun. I've never been to a party before. I mean, I've been to birthday parties and “church celebrations”, but not any secret parties. Usually nobody acts out of place around here - we have a very strict moral compass handed to us by the priest. He doesn't waste a chance to punish any sinners, but so long as he never finds out about this little study session, things should turn out fine. The worst that can possibly happen is drinking and dancing - we're only kids after all. 

When I packed up and went back home, I realized with a dread that my father was here. I'm usually careful enough to avoid him, but not today, I have a study session to attend and I need to get ready. I saw him passed out on the couch, a sad smile on my face, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. My father wasn't always this way, I can still remember when I was younger, still in kindergarten, and he used to pick me up everyday to go buy any sweet treat I wanted from Ms.Nara’s bakery shop. He was a lively man, full of spirit and passion, he was my role model in every possible way. This man, laying hopelessly on my living room couch, intoxicated and broken, isn't my father. My father died years ago, unfortunately, and my mother was forced to pick up his pieces. 

I was grateful that my mother enjoyed frivolous gossip with her friends, because it gave me the opportunity to sneak out after my “curfew”. I left my room light off and placed a bunch of lumpy pillows underneath my blush pink bed cover. She's always tipsy after a night of gossiping, so I doubt she'll even check my room, but as long as it looks like someone's in the bed, I'm home free. My parents are simple people, they're easily tricked. You would think the pillow trick is risky - but for my parents it's playing it safe. I clearly didn't get my brains from either of them.

I decided on wearing one of my favorite light pink crop tops - it’s sleeveless and compliments perfectly with my petite white butterfly skirt. The skirt has colorful butterfly designs around the bottom of it, making it appear as though the butterflies are flying upwards. The outfit it very lively and perfect for the spring. I was going to bring some sort of jacket or sweater, but decided against it, simply because it would probably just be annoying once I got inside the house. Kiba’s house was known for being kept warm. I was planning ahead of time - I would hate forgetting my jacket there.

Kiba’s parents live further away from the town since they have so many animals to take care of - they don't want any of them disturbing the neighbors. I normally never travel this far away from the town center, but today was an exception - an exception to everything, really. Maybe this party will finally prove I'm more than just the town tattletale - and Sasuke might even finally look my way. I never understood why he was always so desperate to stay away from me. I've always been on his side, no matter what the situation is. Despite this, he always gives me this disgusted expression whenever I'm near him, like he hates me. I always feel sick everytime he gives me that look - almost like everything I'm doing is wrong. I try my best to shake the feeling off, but it lingers for a long time. 

Now it was time to finally party - properly party. I'm not exactly sure what that entitles - I'm guessing music and dancing - but Ino always finds a way to push me into doing something stupid. I have to be extremely careful with what I do though. I'm playing with fire, and I can't risk getting burned. Getting burned isn't part of the plan, and like I've previously mentioned, I'm following a very strict future plan. 

I could see Kiba’s two story house finally come into view, and I already knew this was a risky move to make. The house was fairly big - since Kiba has a pretty big family - so it’s the perfect party location. I could see the lights were dimmed down, and there was music playing. I can feel my hands clasp shut with anxiety and nerves, but now wasn't the time to back down, I saw Ino wave at me enthusiastically from a second floor window. She seemed much giddier than usual, but that was just how Ino was around her friends. She's a complete wreck when it comes to having fun - she has no limit. 

I wanted to wave back, but I felt a strong hand pull me from behind, and instead I yelped in surprise. Lee gave me an apologetic look before finally explaining himself, “sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, Sakura, I simply wanted to warn you that they are not studying in there at all. I suppose this was all a practical joke - because in actuality, they are having a very loud party.” Lee gave the house a very serious and stern look, almost as if he were disappointed that all of these teenagers decided to have a party instead of a study session. Knowing how Lee is, I'm sure he is very disappointed.

I gave him a soft smile, trying my best to ease his anger, “yeah, I already know Lee, why aren't you having fun with them? It's getting dark out here.”

Lee’s anger only seemed to grow, “I was trying to politely spend time with them and joke around, but they insisted I take a drink and play spin the bottle with them - a game that I repeatedly told them made me feel uncomfortable. They then began mocking me and calling me names, so I decided to leave them be. They appeared quite intoxicated, and I knew they were only going to continue speaking nonsense.” He puffed his chest out and crossed his arms, clearly still offended by the entire fiasco. I was shocked at what he told me - I never expected alcohol to be involved. Ino said it was a party, but teenage parties don't usually have alcoholic beverages, it wasn't appropriate - what were they thinking?

“Okay, well, have a safe trip home, Lee. I'll have a conversation with them about being respectful.” I gave him a fake smile because I'm really not gonna have any conversation about respect with them. That would only emphasize how much of a party-killer I am, and the whole point of this was to prove them wrong. I still felt bad for Lee though, and decided to play the part for him at least. His angry expression soon become one of worry and concern. 

“Sakura, are you sure you still want to attend this gathering? They are acting very inappropriate and rude - I do not wish for them to harass you into doing anything you wouldn't like. The drinks they have look strange, and the music is very loud, I found it hard to concentrate on anything in there.” 

I can't back down now, that would be super lame and Ino would never let me live it down. It's sort of sweet that Lee cares so much, but he's also weird and creepy sometimes, so of course he wouldn't like the party. I was different. I can have fun if I want to - and drink a little too. I have self control, and as soon as I decide it's enough, I'll stop. I gave Lee a confident thumbs up, “I can take care of myself Lee - I'm a lot tougher than what people give me credit for. Plus, unlike them, I can leave whenever I want. Don't worry about me.” Before he could say another word of concern, I gently pushed past him to face the front door. I pressed my fist against it to knock, but the door opened and revealed a very bubbly Ino, “took you long enough, little Ms.Goody-two shoes!” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that? A little too moody - right? I think yall know how bad this little "party" is gonna be for our girl, Sakura. At least Lee tried warning her. He's a real sweetheart, and this isn't the last we'll hear of him - the Rock will return! However I do need to warn you guys of the trigger warning for the next chapter. There's gonna be some stuff that maybe not everyone is comfortable reading, if you wanna skio that chapter, go ahead. There will be a short summary note at the end for you. I understand not everyone is comfortable with vulgar things.
> 
> Also, please leave me a little comment, because I simply love them! I really appreciate and look forward to any opinions or ideas you might have about the story so far! :D thankssss...
> 
> Btw none of these chapters are edited, so I'll eventually come around and edit each individual chapter, but for now I just wanna have them all out.

**Author's Note:**

> My very first official multi-chapter fanfic! I hope I didn't do too horrendously, and I would love to hear some feedback! I have to admit, I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, which doesn't sound very good now that I say it out loud. Don't worry though, I have prewritten chapters, so even if I start losing inspiration, I already have my next chapter prepared to upload! I will continuously upload a chapter every week on Thursday or Friday, so hopefully I can keep that going without fail. 
> 
> The "religion" topic is a bit risqué - I know - but I feel like I can go for it. If I happen to get something wrong, or come off as ignorant or offensive, please let me know! That's the last thing I want! None of this is meant to harm or offend anyone. I wrote this out of fun and boredom, also because I love this fandom too much. Naruto has really taken over my life, and I mean that in the least pathetic way possible.
> 
> I have a good idea of where I might take the story, so keep an eye on our boy Sasuke. He probably might maybe end up doing something horrible, but who knows, right? I'm sure you're tired of hearing me nag and stuff, so please leave me a short comment with some criticism, I would greatly appreciate that. See ya!


End file.
